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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30047319">heaven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicebishop/pseuds/alicebishop'>alicebishop</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gay Vampires Universe [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Found Family, Gay Vampires Universe, Hwang Hyunjin is a Mess, Kim Seungmin is Whipped, M/M, Polyamory, Stray Kids/Twilight Crossover, Vampires, Yang Jeongin is Angsty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:20:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30047319</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicebishop/pseuds/alicebishop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>''Sometimes I'm afraid I'll always want things I can't have.''</p><p>From the moment Hyunjin opened his eyes, he and Jeongin were drawn to each other, as if they were bound to fall in love.</p><p>And then Kim Seungmin happened.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Bak Haseong (OC), Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gay Vampires Universe [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2214105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>playlist<br/>Stahl - Pushed Down (ft Caroline)<br/>TFLM - Lost in Your Eyes (ft Anja)<br/>Arc North - Meant To Be (ft Krista Marina)<br/>Arc North &amp; Polarbearz - Together Now (ft Camilla Neideman)<br/>Owsey - Mistake (ft Ayelle)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h5>summer 1881, Jeongin POV</h5><p>I was dead. I must have been dead.</p><p>My heart wasn’t beating, I couldn’t feel my pulse. The last thing I remembered was my body breaking the surface of water and the sound of bones cracking.</p><p>But if I was dead, why was I conscious? I could feel every inch of my body, each rigid muscle refusing to loosen. I hadn’t even opened my eyes but I knew where I was. It smelled like the forest, wet, fresh, earthy. Bare heels bumping over roots, I was laying on something flat, woven, like a stretcher made of weeds.</p><p>And there were footsteps above me. Two people towing my body through the trees. But they weren’t… people, were they? Their hearts were silent as well.</p><p>Wait. I could hear their hearts?</p><p>I didn’t want to open my eyes. Maybe I was in Hell, and as long as I didn’t give myself away, the Devil wouldn’t realize I had arrived…</p><p>I was too curious for my own good. Why did I have the feeling I could fight off any attack that came my way? Why was there an inexplicable strength brimming inside me, a berserker waiting to be let loose?</p><p>Compromise. I’d only open one eye. It wasn’t like that alone would tip off Satan.</p><p>I lifted one lid. Immediately a voice came from above me.</p><p>“Ah! Splendid, you’re awake.”</p><p>I closed my eye again. “No, I’m not.”</p><p>My captor laughed. “He’s transitioning well. Refreshing. You know, after you.”</p><p>The accomplice elbowed him. “What’s your name?” he said to me.</p><p>“Jeong — er — Jeonghyeok. Yoo Jeonghyeok.”</p><p>“Is that a fake name, by any chance?”</p><p>“Per… haps.”</p><p>My raft stopped moving, dropped against the ground, and I turned to face the men. One had pretty black hair, kind eyes, the other had brown hair, face sculpted from stone. They were dressed in puffy shirts and cinched slacks, both beautiful and intimidating, definitely not human.</p><p>“Why… why are you dressed like pirates?” I asked.</p><p>The kind-looking one giggled. “Old habits die hard, boyo.”</p><p>“Who are you?”</p><p>“My name is Chan. This is Haseong.” He crouched to speak to me at eye-level. “There’s a lot you need to know now that you’re awake — I promise we’ll give you all the answers. But first, I want you to know that you’re safe. You’re okay. Whatever you’re feeling is natural, and you don’t have to be afraid of it.”</p><p>“I-is there something to be afraid of?”</p><p>“That depends, doesn’t it?” said Haseong. “Stick with us and life will seem benign in due time. We’ve been doing the domestic thing recently and I feel eighty years older.”</p><p>“Aw you love it.” Chan casually linked his arm with Haseong’s leg.</p><p>“Domestic?” I raised my eyebrows. “Are you two…? Er, you know…?”</p><p>Chan’s head canted. “Homeowners?”</p><p>“Homosexuals,” Haseong corrected him. “Lose the tone, <em>Jeonghyeok.</em> We’re not the most unfortunate discoveries you’ll make today.”</p><p>“That’s not what I meant, I swear, I — never mind. Can I ask some questions now?”</p><p>Chan shifted onto the ground in front of me, crossed his legs. “Shoot.”</p><p>“What the hell am I?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. fire inside</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>winter 1909, Hyunjin POV</h5>
<p>Fire was so much brighter, whiter, hotter, when you were in the centre of the flames.</p><p>My skin was melting under the heat’s cloying fingers, eyes burning from the blinding light, throat raw like I’d been screaming for days.</p><p>Something changed. I couldn’t understand what was happening. The chanting voices around me abruptly stopped, a human shrieked, an animal growled — a terrifying, guttural noise.</p><p>Suddenly the fire was gone. It made little difference. My whole body was burnt and stiff and I couldn’t open my eyes and I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t breathe.</p><p>And then the pain changed. It doubled, tripled, seeped into my bones. It started in my neck and followed my veins, claiming each organ and limb and every inch of skin in its path.</p><p>* * *</p><p>It was either a billion years or a couple days before it stopped. For a second I felt really, really good. And then it all came back to me. Mom. Dad. Gramma. Hyunjung. Eunji. The Paragons of Divinity. Fire. The fire was still eating me, it still had its hold on me.</p><p>“Hyunjin.”</p><p>I bolted upright. I was on the floor of a long rocky cave shielding me from the snowstorm outside. Four people were staring at me from the opposite wall, keeping their distance. The first was kind-looking and attentive — he told me his name was Bang Chan. The next was guarded, suspicious, named Bak Haseong. The third was Han Jisung — he was aloof, golden eyes locked onto mine even after I’d looked away.</p><p>The fourth was Yang Jeongin. His narrow, elegant eyes caught my every move. He stayed to the back of the pack as Jisung approached with his hand outstretched, offering to help me to my feet.</p><p>“Uh,” I said, looking past him. “Jeongin ssi…?”</p><p>Haseong laughed a bit and Chan elbowed him. The muscles under Jisung’s scarred cheeks flexed. He pivoted and stalked out of the cave.</p><p>Jeongin stepped forward and helped me up. I was jittery and numb, overrun with emotions; I kept his hand, clung to it like a child. He didn’t bat an eye. He held my hand while Chan and Haseong explained what had happened to me.</p><p>“Vampires are real?” I murmured. I wasn’t asking — I was trying to make myself believe it.</p><p>“Would you like to try hunting?” said Haseong.</p><p>“Like, with shotguns?”</p><p>“No. It’s an instinctual thing. It will help with the pain.” He gestured to his own neck.</p><p>I swallowed. The fire still taunted me from the inside, crawling up my throat, hidden under my skin. I squeezed Jeongin’s hand and said yes. Anything to ease the flames.</p><p>I followed them out into the storm. I guess vampires didn’t need shoes. The snow wasn’t cold, just soft and crunchy under my bare soles.</p><p>“You won’t feel this way forever.” Jeongin’s voice was small and husky, and his eyes slipped up to meet mine. “It feels like death but it’s not. Trust me.”</p><p>For some reason, I did.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Being a vampire wasn’t as horrible as I’d thought it would be. I could jump higher than the clouds and do flying backflips off cliffs. It started to feel natural to hunt, to feed on animals — even cute ones — and it got easier to manage the pain in my throat that never entirely went away.</p><p>I felt myself starting to find my place with the other four, sussing out their quirks and patterns. Chan and Haseong cared for me in… <em>different</em> ways, the former leaning toward TLC and the latter toward a stoic rooster-like guidance. Jisung was naturally crusty, but his bark was worse than his bite. Sometimes I followed him around, playing with his hair, and he would snarl and bray without lifting a finger in my direction.</p><p>Jeongin didn’t speak often, but when he did, every word had meaning. I waited for him to offer his thoughts like I used to wait for a treat after dinner. I liked him differently than I liked the others. My heart jumped every time he smiled, however small.</p><p>It was easier to focus on Jeongin, to listen to Chan’s endless factoids, to annoy Jisung with hugs, to score good-boy points with Haseong — than to face the ball in my gut. Just because I was dead didn’t mean that my past was. I didn’t want to think about the family I’d left behind, I ignored it. I could never go back to them anyway.</p><p>It hurt more when I was alone, so I stuck to my new family like a tick. I accompanied them on every outing and errand, even boring ones. Most of the time they didn’t mind my clinginess, but eventually Haseong and Chan needed a night out. I was happy for some time with my new brothers — and then Jisung told me they were going on a hunt. Alone.</p><p>I sat in the cave by myself. I’d made a nest with leaves and branches, a little comfort in the cold cave. It reminded me of the one Hyunjung and I had built for a sickly bird we’d found in the forest. Poor thing had died after a few short hours under our care. Hyunjung had told me it was the circle of life as I’d sobbed into her shoulder.</p><p>I smiled. She was my younger sister but she always comforted me. I wondered if she looked different now, more mature, but I suppose it hadn’t been that long — a month or so. It felt like forever.</p><p>I wondered if she was worrying. If Mom and Dad were too — they had enough to worry about. And Gramma. Maybe her insomnia had gotten worse, maybe she was up at night, thinking about me. And Eunji. She was barely old enough to understand what ‘missing’ and ‘dead’ were — how would Mom and Dad explain what had happened to me, why I wasn’t there to sing her to sleep anymore?</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>I looked up. Jeongin was hovering by the mouth of the cave, dredged with snow. I wiped the tears off my face and said hey back.</p><p>He came in and settled down in his spot, a jaguar pelt filled with feathers. I’d always wanted to try it out. More than that, I wanted to sit next to him.</p><p>“Back already?” I asked.</p><p>“Snow’s coming down too hard. Jisung wanted alone time anyway. Are you… okay?”</p><p>“I think so.”</p><p>He looked down and fiddled with his thumbs. I wished he would say something, anything. I just wanted to hear his voice.</p><p>“I can go if you’d like,” he said.</p><p>Just not that. “No no no no.” I decided to take matters into my own hands. “Do you know what it’s like, hyung? Did you have a family?”</p><p>He nodded, businesslike. “I did. I was close with my parents. I had friends too. I was with them before I, well, died.”</p><p>“Do you miss them?”</p><p>He shook his head and stopped himself. “It’s not that simple. I was meant to be here with my brothers. I miss my parents, but my life is perfect the way it is.”</p><p>“Don’t you worry? That they’re worrying about you?”</p><p>“No. To them, I died thirty years ago because I was being childish and clumsy, and now I’m waiting for them in heaven.”</p><p>I smiled. “That’s nice.”</p><p>“What does your family believe?”</p><p>“I don’t know. They must have figured out that something’s gone wrong by now. I left to meet the Paragons of Divinity and then… you know what happened.” I pushed my knuckles down my back, trying to ease the memory of fire.</p><p>Jeongin narrowed his eyes. “What drove you to the Paragons?”</p><p>“I thought Jisung hyung already told you guys about that.”</p><p>“I’d like to hear it from you.”</p><p>“Well… my dad lost his job. My mom and sister were seamstresses, but it didn’t bring in enough money for the six of us. Dad, Hyunjung — my sister — and I went to the city to look for work. We figured we could do odd jobs, anything, then go back every so often to give the money to Mom and Gramma.”</p><p>“Is that where you met them? The Paragons?”</p><p>“Yes. Gye Daesung approached me when I was alone. He was dressed well, a white hanbok with the phases of the moons sewn onto it in gold. Maybe he had seen our flyers. Maybe he just noticed I was dirty and washing someone else’s laundry.</p><p>“He said that he was a part of a church, that I could join if I wanted to, become a missionary, get paid well. He showed me his beautiful home — he was richer than anyone I’d ever met, and he said I could be like him too.”</p><p>“It didn’t sound so bad to me. We’d be gone for a long stretches at a time, but how else could we make the money? Besides, we were already Catholics, not hardcore or anything, but love and comfort didn’t seem like bad messages to spread.</p><p>“Then Daesung ssi told me the church only wanted <em>me,</em> not my father or sister. That should have been the first red flag, I guess. They wanted me alone. He gave me a map and told me to meet them at the church in one day. I agreed.</p><p>“I told my family about the job. They were hesitant, but they decided it would be best for all of us. I hadn’t thought it necessary, to say goodbye to them — how long could I be gone? I’m so relieved now. I got to hug each of them, one… one last time.”</p><p>“What happened at the church?”</p><p>“As soon as I got there, the Paragons grabbed me and took me to the basement and… that’s all. I think I was supposed to be a sacrifice. I dunno why me. Maybe I should take it as a compliment.”</p><p>Jeongin finally broke eye contact, looked down at his hands. I bit my lip. Telling my story aloud reminded me of the countless reasons I should be terrified. What if my family had followed me to the church? Or gone looking for the Paragons after they realized I wasn’t coming back? Did they even know I’d been scammed? Did they think I was travelling the world in an elegant hanbok, hoarding the money for myself, leaving them to eat dirt and change Eunji into nappies made of Gramma’s old doilies?</p><p>Jeongin stood up, hands in his pockets. “If your family is struggling, we should help.”</p><p>My mouth dropped open. “But-but Chan hyung said not to speak to them.”</p><p>“We won’t. We’ll take the money they need and leave it for them.” He reached out to me. “We should go now, before the others get back.”</p><p>I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. up from the ashes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>winter 1909, Hyunjin POV</h5>
<p>“This is where Gye Daesung lives?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>It was a wide building with clay walls, red shingles and tiers of stone leading up to the front doors. Jeongin and I climbed the snow-dredged steps, listening for a heartbeat. One upstairs — in the bedroom probably, it was past midnight. I could almost smell his blood from outside.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Jeongin asked. “You can wait outside.”</p><p>“No, hyung, I wanna help.”</p><p>“You can call me Jeongin, you know.”</p><p>“Oh. Okay. Jeongin. I appreciate you doing this for me. Thank you.”</p><p>He smiled a bit. “I remember the… homesickness, the worrying. I used to sneak out and check up on my parents sometimes, just to make sure they were okay.” Then his business-face was back. “Are you sure you’re in control?”</p><p>I nodded emphatically. “I swear — I won’t breathe.”</p><p>“Jisung’s gonna shit his pants when he finds out what we’re doing.”</p><p>I giggled. “Do you think he’ll tell on us?”</p><p>“Not if this goes according to plan.” Jeongin took a breath and held it. I did the same.</p><p>Inside, the house was pitch black, the smell of humans everywhere. The fire crept up on me, blazed down my throat, trailed its fingers up my back. I tried my best to ignore it.</p><p>I led Jeongin through the sliding doors, into Daesung’s office. The shelves of religious memorabilia and decanters of alcohol were centred around a solid mahogany desk, a map of the city laid over it. I noticed there was a black X drawn over the neighbourhood where he had first spoken to me.</p><p>We started looking through drawers and searching for squeaky floorboards. I had no idea where a man like Daesung ssi would hide his money.</p><p>“Could he have a safe room?” I asked.</p><p>Jeongin was feeling around under the desk. “Like an emperor? This guy is a cultist, he can’t be that rich. Maybe he sleeps with the cash under his mattress.”</p><p>“We’re screwed if he does.” I dumped a drawer out onto the floor.</p><p>But then there was a sound. Springs uncoiling, relieved of pressure, footsteps approaching.</p><p>“Shit,” I whispered, “Jeongin, let’s go.”</p><p>“But we haven’t found the money yet.”</p><p>“I-I’m not sure if I’ll be able to handle a body in the room.” Just speaking was letting too much of the scent reach me.</p><p>Jeongin was motionless for a second, and then he rose from his crouch. “Keep looking, the back wall hasn’t been checked yet. Whatever you do, don’t breathe.”</p><p>I nodded despite the fear. He trusted me more than I did myself. I checked along the wall, behind the framed paintings.</p><p>The footsteps only got louder and closer, and then a figure appeared in the doorway.</p><p>A split second and Jeongin had him by the throat, slamming him against the wall. I gasped, slapped my hands over my mouth. Daesung — sputtering, disoriented — was twice Jeongin’s size, but Jeongin was unmovable even as the man kicked his legs, tried to fight him off.</p><p>“You have money,” Jeongin murmured. “Where do you keep it?”</p><p>“I’ll-I’ll never tell—”</p><p>Jeongin snarled and forced him higher up the wall. Daesung retched.</p><p>“Do you want to die, dog?”</p><p>“Th-the-the desk! Under the map!”</p><p>I turned to the desk and folded over the map. There was a hatch embedded in the wood. I swung it open, and inside was a metal safe. I didn’t bother asking for the combination — I grabbed the handle and ripped the lid off its hinges.</p><p>Stacks and stacks of bills, piled to bursting. I lifted the safe out of the hollow and held it tightly in my arms.</p><p>Jeongin threw Daesung hard to the floor. “Go to sleep. Breathe a word of this and God as my witness, you will <em>never</em> wake.” He turned to me, expression unbothered, and gestured down the hallway. “After you.”</p><p>I skipped past him. “A gentleman.”</p><p>He smiled a little, his dimples tweaking in.</p><p>* * *</p><p>My family lived on the second floor of a rickey two-storey complex. The garbage-littered road squeezed into a walkway so narrow that bicycles could barely make it through.</p><p>Jeongin and I walked the dark road and went in through the front door, up the main staircase. I was afraid the wooden steps would buckle under the weight of the safe and send me plummeting into Miss Cho’s pantry.</p><p>“I didn’t know you lived like… this,” Jeongin murmured, looking around.</p><p>“We’ve lived here my whole life. I thought it was a castle when I was a kid.”</p><p>We reached my family’s door and stopped to listen. Only two heartbeats, close together. One was fast, Eunji, and the other was slower — Mom, sleeping in her room. Did that mean Hyunjung and Dad were still job hunting? Where was Gramma?</p><p>Jeongin reached past me and slowly turned the knob, pushed the door open to the living room. Nothing had changed. Eunji’s toys were still scattered across the floor, and Mom and Hyunjung’s sewing was unmoved. The gnat that Dad had swatted two months ago was still a black smudge on the wall.</p><p>I set the safe on the floor and inched the door closed again with a little click.</p><p>I hadn’t realized I was looking forward to this. To seeing my home again, making sure it hadn’t all died with me. Feeling like myself again, the non-vampire Hyunjin whose problems were ordinary, not fairytale-level fantastical. And now that it was over, it felt more Over than it ever had before.</p><p>As we walked down the staircase, the stinging fire crawled onto my back, left it burning. Even the tears in my eyes were hot. I hugged my stomach, tried not to disappear into the pain. The walls were sucking in around me, eating me, the stairs tripping me up.</p><p>“Hyunjin.” Jeongin’s hand ran down my back and wound around my waist. I leaned into him. The night sky opened up above us as we walked out onto the road. The sun was just starting to peek out over the eastern horizon, brightening the sky.</p><p>And then there was another voice.</p><p>“Bunny rabbit?”</p><p>My grandmother was standing in the middle of the path, staring at us. Her old black eyes focussed on my face, and her hands flew up to cup her mouth.</p><p>“You-you’re an angel.” Tears dripped down her cheeks. “Oh goodness, you’re gone, you’ve been t-taken from us, haven’t you?”</p><p>“Gramma,” was all I could say.</p><p>“My little bunny rabbit, we’ve missed you.” She took a step toward me.</p><p>Jeongin held his arm out in warning. “Stay back please, ajumeoni.”</p><p>“O-oh, I’m sorry.” She pressed her hands together, fingers to her forehead. “I shouldn’t come close, I’m a sinner.”</p><p>“You’re not a sinner,” I said, still frozen.</p><p>“You give me too much credit, Hyunjin.” A look of excitement crossed her face. “Have you seen Grandpa?”</p><p>I moved past Jeongin, nodding my head. “Yes, I see him every day. He misses his darling. He can’t wait to see you.”</p><p>“I can’t wait to see him. Tell him that. We’ve been worrying. We’ve… been wondering… what happened to you?”</p><p>“Does it really matter?”</p><p>“It’s been killing us, Hyunjin. Please?”</p><p>“It was painless and brief and now I’m… I’m happy. Trust me.”</p><p>She accepted it, grudgingly. “What are you doing on earth?”</p><p>“We left money for the family. It’s all in a metal safe — bury it in the woods as soon as you can, okay?”</p><p>A new shine came to her eyes, more tears fell down her face. “Bless you, thank you. Will you say goodbye to…?”</p><p>I looked down, shook my head. “I can’t. I’m only here for you to see. You need to tell them I visited. I’m truly okay. I…” I wiped my sleeve across my face, sniffling. “I love you. Please don’t forget me.”</p><p>“I could never forget you, bunny rabbit.”</p><p>We stood in silence for a minute. Gramma walked around us in careful sidesteps, disappeared up the staircase.</p><p>Then there was no sound. Jeongin put his arm around my waist again, and I put mine over his shoulder, blinking the tears out of my eyes.</p><p>* * *</p><p>“You’re both dead. <em>Deader.”</em></p><p>“Jisung, calm down,” said Jeongin.</p><p>Jisung was pacing in front of us, shoulders hunched, arms over his chest, and we were watching him, sitting in our nests. The snowstorm outside was loud and frenzied — it matched Jisung’s tone.</p><p>“How many damn humans saw you tonight? Do you even know? Were you even paying attention?”</p><p>“We were careful. The cultist thinks we’re demons and Gramma Hwang thinks we’re angels.”</p><p>“How did you explain your eyes?”</p><p>“It didn’t come up.”</p><p>
  <em>“It didn’t come up?”</em>
</p><p>“My grandmother is nearsighted, so I think we’re good on that one,” I said. “And the eyes probably added to the performance with Daesung ssi.”</p><p>“Chan and Haseong are gonna have very differing opinions on this one,” he grumbled.</p><p>“But you’re not going to tell on us,” Jeongin stated.</p><p>“Oh ho ho! I fucking might!”</p><p>“No, you’re not.”</p><p>Jisung’s eyelid twitched. He thrust his arms into the air and pointed at Jeongin. “I can’t believe I let you come back here! It was just a hunt! For Christ’s sake, he’s not gonna spontaneously combust if you stop eyeballing him for two and a half seconds!”</p><p>My mouth came open, I turned to Jeongin. He was glowering at Jisung like he wanted to throttle him.</p><p>Jisung’s finger drooped. He spun on his heels. “Alright, I’m heading out.”</p><p>“You’re getting skinned when you come back,” Jeongin called.</p><p>“Duly noted.” He left the cave with a thumbs-up.</p><p>I swished air back and forth between my cheeks, still looking at Jeongin. He was staring forward, mouth a straight line.</p><p>“So it wasn’t snowing too hard to hunt,” I said.</p><p>He squeezed his nose, sighing. “I… worry about you, Hyunjin. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”</p><p>“You don’t have to worry. I’m okay. Most of the time.”</p><p>“I want to do more. I…” He looked vulnerable and displeased with it. “I want to be someone who can make you feel better.” He turned to me. “Can I come over?”</p><p>I scooted to the side and Jeongin sat next to me. I bowed my head and gently nestled my face into his neck.</p><p>“Is that okay?” I murmured.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“I feel the same way about you, you know.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>My smile was hidden between us. I said his name and he murmured mine back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. focus on me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>spring 1916, Seungmin POV</h5>
<p>The hellish pain released me and my body went into lockdown. What was happening? Where was I? Who was I? What was I hearing?</p><p>“You’re sure he’s awake, Jisungie?”</p><p>“He’s in shock, give him a minute.”</p><p>Two voices, two tenors, one seven feet away, the other ten, echoing off plaster board. It felt like ten billion years before someone spoke again.</p><p>“Chan shouldn’t have gone hunting — he’s the initiator. Jeongin said rock, paper, scissors isn’t the way we should decide on teams and we were <em>fools</em> not to listen to him!”</p><p>“Would you quit whimpering? Just poke the new guy.”</p><p>“No, he’s scary.”</p><p>“Chicken shit.”</p><p>“Then you do it!”</p><p>“I am <em>not</em> doing it.”</p><p>“You’re such a hypocrite.” The voice lowered. “Okay okay okay, be brave, Hyunjin.”</p><p>The sole of a shoe shifted toward me on the soft pine flooring. I shot back against the wall, blindingly fast, a guttural roar ripping up my throat, acid spraying through my teeth.</p><p>I had been laying on a bed — pillows made of goose feathers, blanket of wool — on the second storey of a building — a house, a cottage? — and there were two men looking back at me — not men, boys, but not boys either. One was leaning against the wall opposite me, unfazed by my reaction — Jisung — and the other was on the floor — Hyunjin — he had fallen over backward, I’d startled him.</p><p>Neither of them were human. I wasn’t human.</p><p>I dropped down to the bed and took my head in my hands. What had happened, what was happening? The pain had been worse than anything I’d ever felt, it was <em>more</em> than pain, setting me on fire and ripping me in half and erasing my reason to live — what <em>was</em> my reason for living, why did I live?</p><p>I needed to slow down. Slow down, slow down, slow slow slow.</p><p>“Hello there.” Hyunjin enunciated it like I was an alien, getting up off the floor. “My name is Hyunjin. What’s your name?”</p><p>What the fuck even was my name? Seungmin, it was Kim Seungmin — but was it? Why did I think that? Why were my muscles spasming with untapped strength and why was my mouth wet with acid-spit and why was my throat on fire, made of fire?</p><p>“He’s still in shock,” Jisung said. “He should be. Pretty grizzly way to die.”</p><p>Hyunjin swallowed. “You should have seen the blood.”</p><p>Blood. I remembered blood. I palmed my stomach — that’s where the blood had been coming from. The skin underneath my shirt was scarred, coarse, lined with white and reddish connective tissue, like I’d been torn apart and healed back up with magic. What did this to me, why was I still alive?</p><p>I had been in the wrong place at the wrong time — they all had been, the last faces I’d seen before I’d died. I thoughtlessly grabbed my ears, blocked out the noise so loud, harsh, deafening, over and over again — gunshots? Who had been shooting, did I know them? No, I had been elbow-deep in an American Napier, pulling out whatever looked valuable.</p><p>And then they started shooting. A gang — two gangs, but it was just past evening, people were there. I remember an elderly couple and parents with their baby — had they made it out? Had I helped them? Was that why I’d gotten shot?</p><p>“Hey, take it easy.” Hyunjin took another step toward me, stood at the foot of the bed. “Look, I… I’m really nervous, I haven’t done this before — and Jisung isn’t helping — but I just want you to know that you’re not alone. Take your time to get your head right, and then we’ll be here to answer all your questions.”</p><p>I stared up at him with my mouth open and he stared back. His eyes were a sparkling gold. Was he a healer, a killer, a freak, a demon? I didn’t feel… alive. I was conscious but inert; if I didn’t move, nothing in me moved, not my heart, not my lungs — not my eyes, still locked on Hyunjin’s.</p><p>“I’m afraid to break eye contact,” he whispered nervously to Jisung.</p><p>I looked down. “I-I-I-I’m sor-sorry.”</p><p>“Slow down, Seungmin,” Jisung said. “The sooner you stop panicking, the sooner you’re not panicking.”</p><p>“How-how do you know my name?”</p><p>“I’m a mindreader. And a vampire — like you are now. You know the folktales about bloodsuckers and demons?”</p><p>“They’re real?”</p><p>“Well, we’re not demons, exactly,” Hyunjin said.</p><p>“That’s debatable,” Jisung muttered.</p><p>“I-I eat humans now?” I said.</p><p>“You drink the blood of animals. I mean, unless you phone it in, which we wouldn’t blame you for.”</p><p>“Jisungie, Haseong told us to be more firm,” Hyunjin said. Jisung shrugged.</p><p>“Why does it hurt?” I swallowed, again and again, trying to snuff the fire. “My throat, it hurts.”</p><p>“That’s the thirst,” Hyunjin said. “We can go hunting if you want. It’ll make you feel better.”</p><p>Anything to feel better, anything to make it go away. I didn’t care about my unanswered questions, not the past, present, future — if I left the fire any longer, I felt like it would crush and burn me from the inside out.</p><p>I meant to unfold my legs and get up, but in a split second, I was on the floor at Hyunjin’s feet. My brain and my body were fighting for control. I tried to get up but my back slammed into the bed frame.</p><p>“Fuck,” I hissed, hands in my hair.</p><p>“Seungmin.” Hyunjin crouched down in front of me, took my hands. “Breathe, okay?”</p><p>I inhaled, but my exhale wavered in my throat, tripped out of my mouth. I looked up at him as if to ask if I did okay. He smiled brightly. His smile was beautiful.</p><p>“One of us has to stay behind to fill in the others,” Jisung said.</p><p>“C-can Hyunjin come with me?” I asked.</p><p>Jisung flung his arms in the air, the first time I’d seen him move. “Why does this always happen to me!?”</p><p>“I think you just evoke that kind of reaction in people,” Hyunjin giggled. Jisung gave him the finger.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Hyunjin taught me how to walk like I was learning for the first time. I fell down the stairs and ended up crawling the rest of the way, but at least I didn’t break anything. Everywhere I looked there was something fragile balanced on something precarious, a thermometer and an algae-covered clock stacked atop a rusty bayonet.</p><p>Once I was outside, I didn’t have to worry about knocking anything over. The house was buried deep in a forest. I had no idea where I was or where the city had gone. I couldn’t hear engines or voices or hearts for miles around. The quiet was peaceful.</p><p>I tried to move forward and fell to my hands and knees again, dizzy.</p><p>“You’re looking at your feet,” Hyunjin said, helping me up, “not where you’re going. Focus on, say, that tree, make it your target.”</p><p>I squinted my eyes at a tall, gnarled tree, and suddenly I was stumbling into it. I focussed on a tree to my left and, like that, I was in front of it, palm against the bark. My lips split open and spread in a stunned smile. My movements were so fast and agile that I could barely track them myself. I think I liked it.</p><p>I turned back to Hyunjin, held one finger out and sprinted toward him. My finger poked his nose.</p><p>“Boop,” I said.</p><p>He smiled, looking into my eyes for a second, and then turned away and backed up a step.</p><p>“Let’s focus on hunting now,” he said. “There’s a herd of sika deer to the west. Can you hear them?”</p><p>I could hear the clopping hoofs faintly, like miniature deer galloping just over my shoulder. I headed that way, practicing putting one foot in front of the other, and Hyunjin walked at my side.</p><p>“How do I, you know, do it?” I asked. “Do I have to seduce the deer into submission or something weird like that?”</p><p>“Ew, no. I wouldn’t usually put it so bluntly, but you pretty much just — grab it. Grab it and bite. It’s instinctual. I think you’ll be good at it.”</p><p>“Why do you think that?”</p><p>“Well…” He whisked his hands in the air a bit. “While you were changing, you did some… thrashing. You may have punched a few of us in the face — but it’s okay! Everyone has their own reaction to venom.”</p><p>“Was that why Jisung was being all snooty? Did I punch him?”</p><p>“Yeah, you did, but Jisung’s just like that a lot of the time. I, on the other hand, had the honour of being kicked in the face by you.”</p><p>I laughed through a grimace. “Sorry. If it’s any consolation, you could probably pick me up like a beetle and throw me into the sun. I mean, I can barely run without getting dizzy.”</p><p>“You’re a newborn, you’re incredibly strong. I mean, all vampires are strong, but young ones are on another level.”</p><p>“Oh. Cool. Hey, wanna arm wrestle?”</p><p>“What’s arm wrestling?”</p><p>“Here, I’ll show you.”</p><p>I ran over to a stump, kneeled and placed my elbow on top of it. He copied me.</p><p>“Other arm, hyung.”</p><p>He switched arms. I took his hand and squeezed it.</p><p>“Plant your elbow. When I say go, you push that way, I push the other way. Whoever’s arm touches the stump first, loses. Ready?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>His hand smacked into the wood.</p><p>“AHHH — I wasn’t ready!”</p><p>“You said you were ready!”</p><p>“Rematch, rematch.” A stubborn little wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows.</p><p>I grabbed his hand and said go. Our hands wavered in the middle, gravitating toward his side. He pushed against me with his other hand — I shrieked foul play and used mine too. We were giggling and bleating, leaning toward each other over the stump.</p><p>“I forfeit, I forfeit!” Hyunjin yanked his hand away and fell back onto his butt. “Jesus Christ, that’s intense!”</p><p>“You’re pretty good for an old vampire.”</p><p>“I’m not <em>that</em> old, only seven years.”</p><p>“You’re… seven? Should you be calling <em>me</em> hyung?”</p><p>“No, and you shouldn’t be calling me hyung either. I’m eighteen in human years, like you.” His head canted. “But I guess technically I’m twenty-five now, with my vampire-years included. I dunno, depends on how you look at it.”</p><p>“So vampires are immortal?”</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“You’re saying I’ll still be alive in 2000?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“3000?”</p><p>“I dunno if <em>earth</em> will still be alive by that point, but yeah, essentially.”</p><p>I looked down at my hands. “What else can I do?”</p><p>We ended up leaping into the sky, seeing who could go the highest. While I lost my footing every time I landed, Hyunjin was graceful — the leaves barely stirred when his shabby shoes touched the ground.</p><p>I made one particularly tall pine tree my target and launched off the forest floor. The sky sped toward me, the landscape opened up below, miles in every direction, a deep blue ocean to the east. The tree reached out for me, and I caught the bark with the tips of my fingers, swung myself around against the trunk. The breeze ruffled my hair.</p><p>Hyunjin landed next to me. I dropped down onto the branch, straddled it. He saw I was getting settled and did the same, swinging his legs over the edge.</p><p>“Trees look funny from up here,” I said. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many trees.”</p><p>“This is really your first time seeing… trees?”</p><p>“As far as I can remember, I’ve never been out of the city before.”</p><p>He turned toward me, putting one leg over the branch so we were face to face. His eyes were a tawny gold, beautiful and intent.</p><p>“Seungmin, what you were doing back there… it was so brave.”</p><p>“Um. What was I doing?”</p><p>“You don’t remember?”</p><p>“I kind of do, but I don’t want to be wrong.”</p><p>“You were leading a group of humans away from a gunfight. You didn’t take the lead, though, you put yourself between them and the bullets. Even after they were safe, you went back to make sure there wasn’t anybody else trapped.”</p><p>So my half-memories were right. I was satisfied with a heroic death. And now I was strong, fast, immortal, tossed into the vampire world with Hyunjin as my guide. That didn’t seem like a bad way to spend eternity at all.</p><p>“Well, I guess I’m stuck with you now.” I smiled to let him know I was teasing.</p><p>“Guess so.” He smiled too, tried to tame his black hair by running a hand through it. He looked at me curiously. “You don’t seem… sad. To lose your life.”</p><p>I shrugged. “I guess, from what I know, this is better than my old life.”</p><p>“Really? Didn’t you have family?”</p><p>“I… don’t know.” I remembered a blurry face that called himself my father, and two other faces who would show up sometimes to borrow money. Maybe they were my brothers. I hadn’t seen them in a long time, I knew that much.</p><p>“Am I supposed to remember more?” I asked.</p><p>“Some vampires do, some don’t. It’s a matter of holding onto what you <em>can</em> call back, committing it to memory.”</p><p>“Do you remember your old life?”</p><p>A look of grief passed over his face. “I do. Almost everything.”</p><p>“Wanna talk about it?” I reached out, palmed his knee. “I’ll listen.”</p><p>His eyes flitted down to my hand. Another look crossed his face, one I couldn’t place. “Um, Seungmin, this might be out of left field, but I have a boy—”</p><p>“Wait, hold on.” There was a sound approaching. Hooves were getting closer, clopping toward us. The smell was faint and, honestly, bad, but at the same second the scorching heat rose in my throat again.</p><p>I pushed myself into the open air, landed on a branch closer to the ground. The herd cantered along below my feet, unhurried. That same red-hot fluid pooled in my mouth.</p><p>Suddenly the wood under me splintered and cracked. I grabbed the tree trunk as the branch plummeted to the ground, landed with a thump in the centre of the herd. They bayed and split off in all directions.</p><p>I dropped from the tree and chased a buck into the forest. The hunt barely lasted a second. The fleshy body slammed to the ground under my weight, kicking its legs against me. I held it down and cut my fangs into its neck. It was as easy as breathing. Skin and tissue and fat gave way under my teeth, hot blood gushed into my mouth.</p><p>Gradually, my senses came back to me, the acid dried up. I felt as if I were waking up again. Was this real life? Did I just kill a wild animal and drink its blood? There were bits of flesh and fur between my teeth.</p><p>Hyunjin came up behind me. “Um, good instincts.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>“Are you still thirsty?”</p><p>“Don’t think so. Is this really what we came out here to do?”</p><p>“Yep. C’mon, I bet the others are back at the house, you can meet them.”</p><p>“Sure.” I reached up for his hand. He helped me to my feet, but as I stood, a flash of colour caught my eye. Through the brown tree trunks, there was a line of green, dotted with bright orange and pink, and then blue all the way up to the sky. In the distance, I heard waves stirring against the seaside.</p><p>“Hyunjin, what’s out there?” I pointed.</p><p>“Oh. Well. Would you like to see it?”</p><p>I nodded. We headed toward the outline of trees. All at once, like a spell had been cast, the forest came to an end, and a wide, rolling field began. The knee-high flowers were bobbling in the wind, leaving no path to follow. The sea was so bright that it blended into the sky, an endless dome above our heads, just us alone.</p><p>“Seungmin?” Hyunjin said from behind me. I hadn’t stopped walking, taking careful steps through the flowers.</p><p>“Can we go to the water?”</p><p>He paused and then followed me. I looked at him and — holy shit, he was glowing. Light caressed his face, bouncing off his soft brown skin.</p><p>I looked down and… I was glowing too. I rolled up my sleeves and watched my arms flicker like stars.</p><p>“Pretty cool, right?” Hyunjin said.</p><p>I smiled. “Fuck yeah.”</p><p>He smiled back and looked down.</p><p>“Do you think picking a few flowers would disturb the ecosystem?” I nudged his arm gently.</p><p>“I don’t think so. My Gramma used to say that flowers are meant to be picked. ‘Mother Nature is rich in beauty and she loves to share her wealth.’”</p><p>“I like that.” I plucked an orange flower from the ground. The waxy petals refracted the sun, like we did. “Right, we were gonna talk about your family.”</p><p>“Er, were we?”</p><p>“You looked like you had something you wanted to tell me.”</p><p>He didn’t answer for a second, and then he shrugged his shoulders. “Um. Yeah, I was just thinking I should tell you more about the vampire world. As long as you’re up for it.”</p><p>“I’m listening, I’m listening.” I picked a pink flower to add to my bouquet.</p><p>“Chan tells these stories better, but basically the vampire world has a government called the Volturi. They only have one law, but that law is unbreakable. Humans cannot know we exist. That means you can’t see your family again, or anyone from your past life.”</p><p>“I’m okay with that.”</p><p>“There’s more to the no-human law. You cannot reveal your vampire-ness, eyes or sun-sparkle to any humans, and until you’re immune to blood, you cannot go into crowded areas. Creating immortal children is a big no-no. You cannot amass an army for any purpose — especially not to attempt a coup against the Volturi.”</p><p>“They outlawed their own dethroning?”</p><p>“A little bit.”</p><p>“They sound like assholes.” I held the bouquet up to Hyunjin. He gave it a passionate sniff.</p><p>“Really they’re not that bad, at least as far as dictators go. As long as you don’t break any laws, you can go your whole life without meeting them. I haven’t yet, but Chan and Haseong have, and they say the Volturi respect the law above all else. Well, unless gifted vampires are involved, they tend to be biased to — toward—”</p><p>He made an explosive screaming sound — it made me jump.</p><p>“What just happened?”</p><p>“I sneezed because” — he sneezed again — “the flowers! What are you even doing with those?”</p><p>I stopped walking and held them out to him. He blinked, looked down at them, up at my face, down again, and back to my face. He took them slowly, avoiding my eyes.</p><p>“Seungmin,” he said, “thank you, but… I have a boyfriend.”</p><p>My heart dropped. Fuck. Act cool, act cool.</p><p>“Okay. Good for you?”</p><p>He laughed a bit. “Sorry. I was getting… energy.”</p><p>“Energy?”</p><p>“Flirty energy?”</p><p>I forced a smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.” I’m pretty sure I just uttered the biggest lie in human — er, vampire — history.</p><p>“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to—”</p><p>“It’s okay, misunderstanding.” I cleared my throat. “You startled me back there. I didn’t think vampires could sneeze.”</p><p>“Maybe we can’t, that’s why mine was so demonic.” He laughed a little, still uncomfortable.</p><p>I nodded, smiled the appropriate amount. The beach would have to wait.</p><p>* * *</p><p>The little house appeared through the woods. I could smell — <em>smell</em> — strangers, the vampires I hadn’t yet been introduced to. I asked Hyunjin if I should use honourifics, and he said it wasn’t necessary, but to be extra tentative with Haseong.</p><p>The four were waiting in the living room — they turned as they heard us open the door. I scanned their faces, curious which was Hyunjin’s. Jisung definitely wasn’t, and the other two had their arms linked like an old married couple. That left one.</p><p>The silence only lasted a half a second.</p><p>“Hyunjin, Seungmin,” one said, a smile lighting up his face. “Wonderful, you’re back.” He walked over to me and held his hand out. “My name is Chan. Welcome.”</p><p>I shook his hand. “Hello.”</p><p>“Come, meet everybody.” Chan took my shoulder and led me to the others. Jisung was staring at Hyunjin with a strange expression on his face.</p><p>The stoic-looking one held my hand and shook heartily. “Haseong,” he said. “I’m sorry we weren’t here for you as you woke. I hope Jisung and Hyunjin took care of you.”</p><p>“Yeah, they’re, er, great.”</p><p>Another hand stretched toward me. I turned to Hyunjin’s boyfriend, looked into his eyes. Striking, frankly.</p><p>“Hello,” he said. “Jeongin.”</p><p>“Hi,” I said back.</p><p>His eyes slipped past me. He smiled. It softened his face in a way I couldn’t have imagined. He was looking at Hyunjin.</p><p>“Those are beautiful,” Jeongin said, nodding to the flowers. “Where’d you get them?”</p><p>Hyunjin swallowed, smiled. “Seungmin gave them to me.”</p><p>Jeongin’s eyes came back to my face. The softness faded.</p><p>“Beautiful,” he said simply.</p><p>“This is a clusterfuck,” Jisung muttered. Haseong told him to shut up.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. the elephant in the room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>summer 1916, Jeongin POV</h5>
<p>Kim Seungmin annoyed me. I didn’t like him. Because it was uncomfortably clear that he had feelings for my boyfriend, but also because he was annoying and I didn’t like him.</p><p>Usually I wouldn’t act this childish. I <em>knew</em> it was childish. He had only been with us for a few months, and even though I avoided him, gave him the cold shoulder, he didn’t hold it against me, he was only kind to me. I think he found it amusing at times. My animosity probably wasn’t as intimidating as I thought it was.</p><p>What made it worse was living in this house. As long as we were inside, privacy was nonexistent. At any given time I was either staring at a wall or at Seungmin. The wall was less offensive.</p><p>Like most afternoons, there wasn’t much to do. Haseong was in the kitchen, excavating the floorboards, and Hyunjin and Jisung were out ratting in the yard. Chan was repainting the outside of the house for the fifth time this year.</p><p>I was tired of reading. My ears missed hearing things. I pushed the closet doors open, headed downstairs and into the living room.</p><p>Seungmin was laying on the couch on the far side of the room, reading, foot bobbing in the air. Of goddamn course. He glanced up but I’d already looked away.</p><p>I plucked a record off the shelf and took it out of its sleeve. John McCormack’s The Sunshine of Your Smile. I placed the record just so, and moved the arm carefully onto it. It scritch-scratched and began to play. Sometimes Hyunjin and I danced to this song when nobody else was home.</p><p>I leaned against the wall, closed my eyes. I liked to be close enough to the music that I could hear the needle skip over the grooves in the vinyl.</p><p>Seungmin flipped a page. My eyes opened. Oh my god. Did he really have to be so <em>around</em> all the damn time?</p><p>Seungmin looked at me, and again, I’d already turned away. His book slapped closed.</p><p>“You know, sometimes I wonder what the hell your problem is. Care to clear that up for me?”</p><p>He was leaning toward me on the couch, eyes expectant and slightly impish.</p><p>“What problem?” I said.</p><p>“Your problem with me.”</p><p>I slumped against the wall again. “There’s no problem.”</p><p>“You look at me like I’m an affront to decency.”</p><p>“This is my house, you know. It’s annoying to have some random guy hanging around all day and night, obsessively watching my every move.”</p><p>He laughed. “Oh <em>I’m</em> the one obsessing over <em>you?”</em></p><p>I shrugged.</p><p>“Hyung, no offence, but you’re not very stealthy. I know it when you look at me. I pay attention.”</p><p>“I only look at you when you look at Hyunjin.” I canted my head. “Explains why it’s so constant, doesn’t it?”</p><p>It threw him off. “I think you’re jealous.”</p><p>And that threw me off. “Jealous? Of what? Of you? What? Why?”</p><p>He smiled, lay back down on the couch. “I’m gonna go back to reading now.”</p><p>“Well. Have fun. I’ll be out with Hyunjin.”</p><p>I heard his teeth grit behind his book. I stalked out of the room, into the kitchen. Haseong raised his eyebrows at me but I ignored him. I opened the door to the backyard and rounded the house.</p><p>Hyunjin was sitting on the edge of the roof, arm shoulder-deep in a hole in the wall.</p><p>“Jeongin, you’re on rat duty tomorrow,” Jisung said, waiting below him. “I don’t know what part of me needs the most cleansing after this — mind, body or soul, it’s all filthy.”</p><p>I ignored him too. “Hyunjin, let’s go out.”</p><p>“Alrighty, angel, just let me— <em>ack, Jisung, heads up!”</em></p><p>He flung a rat out of the hole, and Jisung booted it high over the tops of the trees.</p><p>“You know you could just set traps,” I said.</p><p>“Not as fun.” Hyunjin leapt down from his perch. “Don’t give up on this spot, Jisungie, I think there’s a whole nest in there.”</p><p>“You’re just gonna leave me here to do all the work?”</p><p>“Yep! See ya, buddy.” Hyunjin patted him on the head and took my hand. We walked into the forest, headed wherever the trees led us. Hyunjin was skipping but I was stomping.</p><p>He tilted his head, looking me up and down. “Is something wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing’s wrong, why the hell would anything be wrong?”</p><p>“Because your face is scrunched up the way I find equal parts adorable and frightening?”</p><p>I sighed, rubbing my face. “Sorry.”</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“Seungmin was being annoying.”</p><p>Hyunjin giggled. “What’d you say to him this time?”</p><p>“Why would you assume <em>I</em> was the one who said something to <em>him?”</em></p><p><em>“Did</em> he say something to you?”</p><p>“No. I mean, maybe. Kind of. He said I was jealous, okay?”</p><p>“Well… are you jealous? Of something?”</p><p>I looked up at him and he looked back.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, looking away.</p><p>Hyunjin kicked a rock at his feet. “It’s funny you and Seungmin have this little rivalry going on. I thought you’d at least get along.”</p><p>“Yeah, well. He seemed like a standup guy when we found him, putting his neck on the line for strangers like that. Then I got to know him.”</p><p>“You don’t know him, not yet. You should give him a chance.”</p><p>I stroked my chin thoughtfully. “No, I don’t think I will.”</p><p>“Stubborn.” Hyunjin slung his arms over my shoulders. “You know, whatever might have been bothering you, I hope you don’t worry about it too much.”</p><p>“Still don’t know what you’re talking about… but I’ll try.” I wound my arm around his waist and held him tight, too tight.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. purpose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>spring 1918, Seungmin POV</h5>
<p>“Seungminnie, what is… life?”</p><p>I looked at Hyunjin, squinting. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Like… what is all This? Capital T.” He raised his hands and splayed his fingers. “What are we made of? What are we meant to do? What is the meaning of life?”</p><p>“Pretty deep questions.”</p><p>“I’m feeling deep today. What do you think?”</p><p>“The meaning of life…” I clicked my tongue and shrugged. “Fuck it and have fun. I can’t see any common purpose for humanity to work toward, so why not enjoy yourself while you’re here?”</p><p>“Do you think we were created for a reason?”</p><p>“I don’t think so. If we were, we’ve strayed pretty far from the path, right? The world’s shit.”</p><p>Hyunjin nodded thoughtfully. “I see your point.”</p><p>“What about you?”</p><p>“In a metaphysical sense… I think life is a vessel. For learning and love and stuff like that. Literally though? I dunno. A coincidence?”</p><p>“A coincidence? I thought you were Catholic.”</p><p>Hyunjin blew out a breath. “Ever since that Darwin guy came to see Chan, I’ve been rethinking things. I still believe there’s something divine about the world — it’s all too beautiful to be a fluke. But why can’t I believe in more than one thing?”</p><p>“What does that mean then?”</p><p>“I guess it means… the beak of the Galapagos Finch has evolved over time. But it’s not like the original organism appeared out of thin air. I think all life was created for a reason.”</p><p>“I thought you said life was a coincidence.”</p><p>“Coincidences can be meaningful.”</p><p>I heard the sound of socked feet plunking down the stairs — Jeongin. We both turned to look. He met our eyes and promptly turned around.</p><p>“Angel, wait,” Hyunjin said. “Come join us.”</p><p>Jeongin blinked a few times and grudgingly shuffled over to the couch. He sat with his hands folded like a schoolboy.</p><p>“We were discussing the meaning of life,” Hyunjin said.</p><p>He scrunched his eyebrows. “Why?”</p><p>“It’s supposed to be fun,” I said. “Hyung, what’s the meaning of life to you?”</p><p>“I dunno. Just… live it.”</p><p>I laughed. “That’s so you.”</p><p>He scoffed. “Let me guess, you answered ‘fuck it and have fun,’ right? ‘There’s no purpose so enjoy it’?”</p><p>“Maybe. But that’s only surface level. I’ve always thought that happiness is infectious. So, by being happy, I’m making the people around me a little happier too.”</p><p>He blinked a few times, staring off. “Hm. That’s… nice.”</p><p>“Hold on, did you just say something not-mean to me?”</p><p>“Don’t make it weird.”</p><p>I held my fist out. He narrowed his eyes at it, at me, and then gently bumped it.</p><p>“Yay!” Hyunjin sang. “You’re best friends now!”</p><p>“No.” Jeongin got up and left the room.</p><p>I watched him go, smiling from ear to ear.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. so easy to love him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>summer 1921, Jeongin POV</h5>
<p>Hyunjin and I had been out for hours, picking oranges and putting them in Chan’s handmade wicker baskets. Another day in Paraguay. We hadn’t done anything but farm and hunt and goof off since we’d moved here from Japan two years ago. There, Chan had worked at the same hospital for years — never aging a day, of course, so once his colleagues had started to notice, it’d been time to move once again.</p><p>Haseong had found an abandoned farm with fields of rotting fruit and vegetables, and the six of us had decided to nurse it back to life and give away what we could reap. We’d settled into a quiet farming lifestyle, with the exception of Haseong, who didn’t like getting dirty, and Jisung, who was largely disinterested in the crops, save for the mandioca. (He said he saw himself in them.)</p><p>“How many baskets left?” I asked.</p><p>“Three,” Hyunjin said. “Should we call it a day after that? I wanna go for a swim. Chan and Haseong said they’d join us if we did.”</p><p>“We have a whole guava orchard to pick, sweetie.”</p><p>“You’re such a stickler.” He spread out on the grass and toyed with my pant leg. I passed him an orange and he tossed it in with the others.</p><p>“We can go tonight,” I said. “Then the stars will be out. I dunno why you like swimming so much anyway, the piranhas are ravenous this time of year.”</p><p>“Piranha basketball, I’m zero-for-twenty-six.”</p><p>“Yeah, against <em>Jisung.”</em></p><p>“Fair point.”</p><p>I reached into the branches, but my hand came back with only a rhinoceros beetle. I threw it over my shoulder and looked up into the rustling leaves. The only oranges left were too high for me to reach.</p><p>“Hyunjin, ladder.”</p><p>He got up without a word, knelt in front of me, and I climbed onto his shoulders. He stood up, grabbed the basket and hoisted it above his head. I picked oranges, filing them away one after the other.</p><p>I heard faint footsteps in the grass. Heel toe, heel toe, confident. I glanced at the house. Seungmin was walking toward us, nose shoved into a book. I looked down at Hyunjin; he was watching Seungmin too. He was always so <em>aware</em> of Seungmin, waiting on his every move. I suppose I had looked first, but… But.</p><p>“Hey,” Seungmin called. “Does this book smell weird to you?”</p><p>It was Chan’s shabby, autographed copy of <em>Emma.</em> Seungmin held it out for Hyunjin to sniff, and then got on his tiptoes for me. It did smell strange, actually. That it smelled like anything was suspicious enough — the book had been buried in Chan’s dresser drawer since the day he’d unpacked it.</p><p>“A vampire?” Hyunjin gasped.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Seungmin said. “I’m not positive, but I smelled something similar out in the woods the other day. Should I tell Haseong and Chan or would that be worrying them for no reason?”</p><p>“If a vampire was going through his dresser, it wasn’t a coincidence,” I said.</p><p>“Arandu warned us about the nomads around here.” Seungmin bit his lip. “I’m gonna tell them. Any idea where they are?”</p><p>“Check the guava orchard.”</p><p>He nodded, looked up and down between our eyes. A smile touched his face. “You two are adorable, you know.”</p><p>I gulped. Hyunjin blushed. Seungmin walked away. We both watched him go.</p><p>Hyunjin turned back to the tree. I collected my thoughts, palming for oranges that weren’t there.</p><p>“You haven’t noticed anything strange, have you?” Hyunjin asked.</p><p>“No. The scents here are so pure. Just animals and bugs and us.”</p><p>“I love it here.” He breathed in and let it out. “Maybe I was a farmer in a past life.”</p><p>“If this nomad thing turns out to be real, you know Chan is gonna use it as an excuse to move back to the city. Haseong’ll be all for it too.”</p><p>“You can’t blame him for missing his calling. It’s hard to be a doctor when you’re out in the middle of nowhere.”</p><p>“I’m not blaming him, I just feel like we have more quality time when we’re isolated.” More room to stretch our legs, more places to go where Seungmin… wasn’t. “I like being alone with you.”</p><p>Hyunjin smiled up at me. “That’s sweet. You’re sweet.”</p><p>“You make me sweet. All right, next tree.”</p><p>He strolled to the next tree; I collected the oranges high up in the branches and he handled the lower ones. I couldn’t reach some at the very top, even from my perch. I climbed into the tree and tossed the fruit down to Hyunjin.</p><p>“Jeongin, wait,” he said suddenly.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“This orange.” He threw it back to me. “Smell it.”</p><p>The same distinctive scent. They had been here too.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Haseong, Chan and Seungmin were standing among the guava trees. Hyunjin and I hurried to reach them.</p><p>“If this turns out to be anything but a fluke” — Haseong pointed at the book in Seungmin’s hands — “it’s an act of aggression. A vampire doesn’t invade another vampire’s land unless they’re looking to threaten and intimidate.”</p><p>“Guys,” I said. “This orange has the same scent on it.”</p><p>Hyunjin gave the orange to Haseong. He sniffed it, his jaw tightening, and glanced expectantly at Chan.</p><p>“We’ve always known there were others in these territories,” Chan said softly, face unbothered. “If it persists, we can ask the Guaraní for their guidance, but for now, not every situation is life or death—”</p><p>“Hey!” Jisung was sprinting toward us, arms stacked with mandioca up to his chin. “This is a life or death situation!”</p><p>“Jisung, slow down,” Chan sighed.</p><p>Jisung shoved a dirt-covered root in Chan’s face. “Smell my mandioca!”</p><p>Haseong grabbed it, held it to his nose. He growled. “They were in the south fields too. Chan, they’re taunting us. They could be watching right now.”</p><p>We all looked over our shoulders, into the hot flat distance behind us, the dense forests ahead of us. A ball of dread built in my gut.</p><p>Chan rubbed his temples. “What do you propose we do, Haseong? Sit back to back so our invisible enemies can’t sneak up on us? Shall we build a fire already?”</p><p>“Of course not,” Haseong scoffed. “That’s step two. Now, we gather information. The harvest will have to be put on hold.”</p><p>“But we haven’t finished picking the oranges,” Hyunjin said.</p><p>Haseong just narrowed his eyes.</p><p>“Never mind, sorry, sir.”</p><p>“Here’s the plan,” Haseong moved on. “If the nomads left a scent, it has to lead somewhere. We start at the house and fan out into the orchards. Move move move.”</p><p>We headed toward the farmhouse — scoured the inside for anything out of place, found nothing — and then moved outside, circled the building twice.</p><p>“The trail from Chan’s dresser is a dead end,” Seungmin called. “I’ll search the grove next.”</p><p>“I’ll check the forest, going northward,” Jisung said.</p><p>“I’ll meet you in the middle,” Haseong said back.</p><p>“Wait! I found something!” Hyunjin leapt onto the roof. We all followed him.</p><p>“This is the centre.” He pointed at a spot on the shingles. “It leads northwest, northeast and south.”</p><p>“How can you tell?” Chan asked.</p><p>Hyunjin drew his finger in three spikes. “See for yourselves.”</p><p>He was right. The trail was deliberate, a message. They were telling us where to go.</p><p>“Do we follow them?” Hyunjin asked.</p><p>“It’s obviously what they want,” Chan said. “Would it be wise to play into it?”</p><p>“What other choice do we have?” Haseong said. “They’re not going to contact us on our own terms.”</p><p>“What’s our goal here?” I asked. “Talking to them, burning them, what?”</p><p>“Protecting everyone involved,” said Chan.</p><p>“Defending ourselves,” said Haseong.</p><p>“A thorough understanding of the situation is imperative before we do anything radical.”</p><p>“Be ready to fight at any moment.”</p><p>“Act not on panic but on necessity and self-actualization.”</p><p>“Have no mercy.”</p><p>“I’m getting mixed messages,” said Hyunjin.</p><p>“So we’re clear,” Haseong nodded.</p><p>“Split into teams,” Chan said. “Hyunjin and I will go south. Jeongin and Seungmin, head northeast. Jisung, Haseong, go northwest. Meet back here when the sun is over the cornfield. Move out.”</p><p>Everyone hopped off the roof except me. <em>Jeongin and Seungmin head northeast.</em> Chan always found subtle, effective ways to ruin my life — and I got enough interference from Haseong already. Suddenly the threat of unfamiliar, potentially dangerous vampires didn’t seem like the worst predicament today could offer. Teamed up with the guy my boyfriend had a crush on.</p><p>“Jeongin!” Chan called.</p><p>I leapt off the roof and joined them. The pairs split off one way and the other. Hyunjin spun back to wave at me — I waved too. When I turned away, I saw Seungmin had been waving as well.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Seungmin and I darted toward the towering body of trees, leaving a wake in the grass behind us. The forest started small and grew bigger once we were inside, untamed leaves and branches grabbling at us as we raced through.</p><p>“We should be looking for the trail,” Seungmin said. “I have no idea where to start.”</p><p>I slowed down a bit, checking a tree to my left, to my right, and crouched down to sniff a pile of leaves. All I smelled was forest.</p><p>“So, how are the oranges?” Seungmin asked from behind me.</p><p>“Um. Great.”</p><p>“Working with food, sometimes I wish I still ate. Hey, do you remember the last meal you had before you turned?”</p><p>The casual conversation was freaking me out. “Dumplings, I think.”</p><p>“Damn, lucky you. I had plain rice with a sprinkle of asbestos.”</p><p>I snorted.</p><p>“These nomads…” His voice was farther away now. I turned to see him halfway up a tree, wandering along a thick branch. “If they end up being aggressive, not just pawing at Jisung’s mandioca, what do you think they want with us?”</p><p>I shrugged. “I dunno. It could be anything, a misunderstanding, a coincidence, a land dispute. Maybe they’re just fucking with us. Or maybe they wanna kill us,” I added casually.</p><p>“Is that really so likely?”</p><p>“Have you ever <em>met</em> a nomad?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Oh. Well, it’s very likely. Nomads are exposed to so much violence, it becomes commonplace to them.”</p><p>He stepped off the branch and fell to the ground. “You know what, I think” — he gasped mid-sentence — “holy shit, I found—” He stood from a crouch, grimacing. “Never mind, bush dog piss.”</p><p>“Ew.”</p><p>We kept walking and sniffing.</p><p>“Hey,” he said then, “I dunno why, but I thought I was picking up on some tension between Haseong and Hyunjin earlier. Is that crazy?”</p><p>It wasn’t crazy, it was observant. Haseong was protective of me, his first son. He thought Hyunjin was being unfaithful to me, intentionally or not, and since then Haseong had given him the cold shoulder. I had tried to get him to loosen up, but a part of me liked it. At least I wasn’t the only one who saw whatever Seungmin and Hyunjin had between them.</p><p>“Haseong’s just a hard-ass,” I said carefully. “Him and Hyunjin have stuff to talk about, it’s between the two of them.”</p><p>“Sometimes I worry it’s because of me.”</p><p>“Wh-why would it be because of you?”</p><p>“You know, with the way you felt about me in the beginning and—”</p><p>Suddenly he stumbled over a hole; I grabbed him without thinking — realized what I’d done — and yanked my hands back. He fell the rest of the way to the ground.</p><p>“Hey.” He pressed his hand against the dirt. “Jeongin, the trail…”</p><p>“Wait, really?” I crouched next to him. It was the same smell from the book, the orange, the roof. “We’re on the right track then, let’s keep going.”</p><p>“I don’t think we’re supposed to keep going. The dirt here, it’s loose.” He dug up a handful, another, another.</p><p>“What does it matter? Vampires aren’t burrowers.”</p><p>As he took out another scoop of dirt, the ground beneath me shifted, slumped downward.</p><p>Our eyes met.</p><p>“Dig?”</p><p>“Dig.”</p><p>We went to work, scraping dirt into a piles at our sides. It was damp and teeming with bugs. I didn’t want to sound like a city slicker, but I was definitely wearing the wrong outfit for this.</p><p>Seungmin leaned down into the hole, stuck his arm into the dark soil. All at once, the dirt fell through into a cavity twenty feet down.</p><p>“C’mon, let’s go.” He then, very casually, put his legs into the roughly one-by-one gap and lowered himself in till he was a disembodied torso.</p><p>“Christ, Seungmin, don’t do that — what if you get stuck?”</p><p>“I’ll brute-force my way out.”</p><p>“What if it’s an ambush?”</p><p>“Then I’ll die covered in grubs and stuck in a hole.”</p><p>“Does that seem like a good way to go to you?”</p><p>“Abso-fuckin-lutely.”</p><p>With that, he put his arms up and dropped through. He landed on his ass and looked up at me.</p><p>“All clear, come down!”</p><p>“Why do I have to do it too?”</p><p>“It’s a tunnel, Jeongin, this is where they wanted us to go!”</p><p>So this was my life, I guess.</p><p>I put my feet in the hole and — after gasping a breath like I was diving underwater — pushed myself in. My shoulders immediately got caught. I had to shimmy the rest of the way. I fell to the bottom in a heap of dirt and vague recollections of what it felt like to have dignity.</p><p>Seungmin was standing by. “That was incredibly graceful.”</p><p>“Go to hell.” I let him help me to my feet.</p><p>The smell of the strangers was everywhere. There were thick tree trunks lining the tunnel, roots keeping the ceiling from collapsing. Seungmin and I walked forward, wary of every pitch dark nook and cranny.</p><p>“What do you think the others are doing?” Seungmin asked. “Maybe Chan and Hyunjin are trapped on a hot air balloon right now.”</p><p>“Chan would love that.”</p><p>“Hyunjin wouldn’t. Poor guy flinches at the mention of fire.”</p><p>“You two have talked about it?” I asked tentatively.</p><p>“Yeah, a few times.” He smiled in the darkness. “You know, he talks about you all the time. Every time he tells a story, he finds a way to mention you. He could be ranking his favourite to least favourite bird species, and still, you’ll be a part of the story.”</p><p>“Oh. Um. That’s nice.” My head ran into the ceiling. “Shit, I think the ceiling is getting shorter.”</p><p>“The walls too.”</p><p>We kept going, and when the tunnel became too small to stand, too narrow to walk side by side, we crawled single file.</p><p>“It’s not just gonna end, is it?” I said.</p><p>“It is. It just did.” He patted the wall of dirt. “What the hell do we do now?”</p><p>“Go back, I guess.” I backed up till the crawlspace was wide enough to turn around. We headed back the way we came. I expected the light from the outside to appear in front of us, but it never did.</p><p>“Seungmin,” I said nervously.</p><p>“Oh fuck.”</p><p>Someone had filled in the exit.</p><p>He ran forward and stumbled over a mound of dirt. He climbed to the ceiling and pounded against it. “Damnit!”</p><p>I dropped my face into my hands. We played into it like halfwits. I should have known better, I would have any other day, in any other company. I only hoped Hyunjin wasn’t stuck in a bunker as well, or whizzing around wildly in a failing hot air balloon.</p><p>“Can we dig our way out?” I asked Seungmin.</p><p>“It’s packed really hard, it’s gonna take a while.”</p><p>“Or…”</p><p>“Or what, Jeongin?”</p><p>I pointed at one of the trees supporting the ceiling.</p><p>He sighed. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”</p><p>I kicked the trunk out fast. Dirt poured down all around us, the sound of an earthquake in my ears. I pushed myself toward the light as it piled around my legs, climbing up my body. The light disappeared as the earth buried me completely.</p><p>“You okay, Jeongin?” His voice was muffled by the dirt.</p><p>“Yeah, you?”</p><p>“I think there’s a worm in my shirt.”</p><p>“You brought this on yourself.” I clawed soil out of my way, wriggling toward the surface.</p><p>I pulled myself up onto solid ground, and Seungmin came after me. Dirt was all over my clothes and face, caked behind my ears. I put my nose to the ground and tried to find the scent — it had to be somewhere, they had been watching us the whole time.</p><p>“This way,” I said, jumping to my feet. Seungmin and I darted through the forest, following the weaving trail. Another smell added to the mix, and another. They led us in an arc through the forest, toward the corn field to the west.</p><p>The tall stalks had been plowed down in three snaking paths, and the three scents diverged, one down each route. Seungmin and I slowed and stopped at the face of the field, panting.</p><p>“The ‘they’re just fucking with us’ option is seeming more and more likely,” Seungmin said, shaking dirt out of his hair.</p><p>“Which should we follow? Or… should we split up?”</p><p>“We shouldn’t split up, that could be dangerous.”</p><p>“You’re right.”</p><p>I walked toward the middle path, but he stopped me. He stood close and tipped my chin up with his index finger.</p><p>“Close your eyes.”</p><p>I was mid-inner-seizure, but I did as he said. I felt him gently thumb at my eyes, tease the grime from my lashes. I opened my eyes when I felt him step away.</p><p>“Sorry,” he said.</p><p>“Thanks,” I said.</p><p>We headed down the first path without another word, tracking the scent, until the maze overlapped in a five-way intersection. We spun in circles.</p><p>“I guess they don’t have any more surprises for us,” Seungmin said.</p><p>“It’s almost noon, we should head back before the others worry.”</p><p>“Yeah — but wait.” I stopped and turned back to him. “There’s something I want to say, and I haven’t… had the chance to say it for a while.”</p><p>“Uh. What is it?”</p><p>“I know — and I understand — that Hyunjin and I… when we’re together, you don’t look okay. Whatever I felt in the past…” His expression changed. He smiled an ironic smile. “It’s in the past. I have to move on.”</p><p>“There… there’s something between you?” Having my suspicions proven was layer-after-confusing-layer of weird, sad weirdness and sadness that I couldn’t place or process.</p><p>“He was the first person I connected with after I woke. I had feelings for him. But he’s in love with you, he’s yours, I get that. I’d never try to, like, take him from you. And don’t think that he ever led me on. He’s set boundaries since the first day.”</p><p>I had no idea what to say. It was what I wanted to hear but it wasn’t at the same time. Maybe a part of me hated to have it confirmed, that Seungmin had feelings for Hyunjin. But not for the reasons I expected.</p><p>Cornstalks breaking, feet flying against the ground. Seungmin and I barely had time to react before Haseong and Jisung busted through the maize and slammed into us.</p><p>“What the fuck!” said Seungmin, shoving Jisung off.</p><p>“Get up! It was trap!” Haseong clambered to his feet and kept going, a deranged sprint toward the farmhouse. The three of us caught up with him, running through the forest.</p><p>The house was up in flames. We stuttered to a standstill, helpless to stop it. The guava trees and fields of mandioca were singed already, smoke curling into the air.</p><p>There was a flash of movement from the orange grove — a vampire, about to escape.</p><p>Seungmin snarled and bolted past me, giving chase. I followed without thinking. Our allotted luck for the day must have run dry by now. I wouldn’t let Seungmin get hurt, not on top of everything else.</p><p>We had to run on all fours, ducking to miss the flames. The nomad was speedy, kicking up clumps of dirt behind him, but Seungmin overtook him quickly, tackled him to the ashy grass. I circled them, scanning for any partners the pale-white vampire may have had.</p><p>“What did you do?” Seungmin growled down at him. “What the fuck is your problem?”</p><p>“You,” he replied, baring his teeth. “What right do you have to squat on <em>our</em> land?”</p><p>“This is about the land? We’re just tending to it, this isn’t even <em>your</em> land to begin with—”</p><p>“Our ancestors conquered this country, it’s our birthright to—”</p><p>Seungmin punched him hard in the face. They traded bites and scratches, all teeth and claws, frenzied and vicious like a fight between rabid dogs.</p><p>“Seungmin, don’t,” I hissed, “let it go.”</p><p>Seungmin tore into the nomad’s neck, bit his head off. The body went slack.</p><p>Seungmin was panting, palming his forehead. “Sorry.”</p><p>I wasn’t upset by it. “Chan doesn’t have to know.”</p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>“Yes.” Just awkward and grieving. The air smelled like smoke, wood and oranges; my babies were burning.</p><p>“You should check on Hyunjin. This must be hard for him.”</p><p>Right. Hyunjin. “Okay. Get rid of the body, fast — and don’t fight anybody else.”</p><p>“No promises.”</p><p>“Hyunjin wouldn’t want you to risk your life because of spite.”</p><p>Seungmin smirked. “That’s low.”</p><p>“Just get back to the house. For him. And for me.”</p><p>I spun on my heels so I wouldn’t catch his response.</p><p>My brothers were pouring buckets of water onto the house; it barely eased the flames. I was thankful Chan and Haseong were in the habit of burying valuables underground like pirate’s treasure, even though it was mostly useless mementos and keepsakes.</p><p>Hyunjin was curled up in the grass, head between his knees. I ran over and wrapped my arms around him.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>“It’s on me,” he whispered, “I can feel it.”</p><p>“It can’t hurt you. Sit tight, breathe. You’re safe.”</p><p>“Is Seungmin okay?”</p><p>I sighed. I couldn’t blame him for caring anymore. I cared too. “Yeah, of course he is.”</p><p>* * *</p><p>While the others scrambled to salvage what they could, Hyunjin and I stayed curled up at the forest edge. We didn’t talk but we were both thinking about this morning, when the air was sweet and the leaves were green. It felt like forever ago, a different time. At least to me.</p><p>“So,” he finally said, “you’re covered in dirt.”</p><p>I looked down. “Oh yeah. They trapped us underground.” I gave him the once-over. “You’re all wet.”</p><p>“Mhm. They trapped us in a whirl pool.” He shook his leg and a piranha fell out, flopping for breath in the grass. “I guess I did want to go for a swim.”</p><p>Jisung was walking toward us, arms full of mandioca. He let them fall to the ground, plopped down next to us and pouted, “They burnt my mandioca.”</p><p>“Don’t be sad, Jisungie,” Hyunjin crooned, “they’ll grow back.”</p><p>“Not fast enough. Chan and Haseong are already talking about leaving — I can’t even blame them. There’s nothing left to do here, no farming or trading, the house is totally fucked. The cycle’s gonna start again.”</p><p>We sighed in unison.</p><p>Something caught my eye. The sun was setting, dipping below the horizon; there was a silhouette against the fiery light. I bit my lip.</p><p>“I’m gonna talk to Seungmin for a second,” I said.</p><p>Hyunjin and Jisung nodded, both a little confused, probably for different reasons. I got up and headed out into the field.</p><p>Seungmin was sitting crosslegged, his brown skin shining silver specks. The rays shifted when he heard me approaching.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>“Hey.” I sat and spoke quickly. “I’m sorry. That you have feelings for him. Hyunjin.”</p><p>He laughed a bit. “You’re sorry I love your boyfriend?”</p><p>“I guess. I’m wondering… what do you think he feels for you?”</p><p>He shrugged. “I used to think he felt something for me too. Now I know he loves me the way he loves Jisung and Haseong and Chan. I’m glad for that. He’s a good friend.”</p><p>He sighed and uncrossed his legs, laid back on the grass. I did the same, hesitantly.</p><p>“It’s easy to love him,” I murmured, “isn’t it?”</p><p>“Loving him is easy. Everything else is torture.”</p><p>“Everything else being…?”</p><p>“Him not loving me back. I shouldn’t have let myself get close to him. Maybe I'm just stupid. Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll never be able to control myself.” His head rolled to the side, he looked at me. “Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll always want things I can't have."</p><p>I just blinked, stared into his eyes. “Yeah. I think I get it.”</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. reality</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>fall 1921, Seungmin POV</h5>
<p>“Is what we experience reality or just a construct of our minds? Can we really know reality or is it different to everybody?”</p><p>I was smiling already. Hyunjin and his deep questions. “Explain more.”</p><p>“Like… when you see trees, are the leaves purple?”</p><p>“Er, no, green.”</p><p>“Same for me, but how do you know your green is the same colour as my green?”</p><p>I mulled it over. “It probably depends on what we’re talking about, right? That’s objectively a house behind us, however burnt.”</p><p>He traded air between his cheeks and nodded in agreement. “What about, like, a feeling, though? What if I associate something with a good feeling, and you associate the same thing with a bad one? The feeling is different for both of us.”</p><p>“I guess I understand that. Okay, describe what — I dunno — the sky is to you.”</p><p>He looked up, biting his lip. “Very big. Black. Diamond-shaped stars.”</p><p>“But what does it <em>mean</em> to you? Like, to me, it’s… a blanket. I could be totally detached, floating around, no clue what I’m doing, but as long as the sky is over me, where could I really go?”</p><p>“Hm.” He was looking at me, into my eyes, instead of the sky. “I think the sky is lovely.”</p><p>“That’s still not an answer.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>The sound of footsteps. We both turned. Jeongin was walking toward us, wandering in from the orange grove. He sat next to me, legs folded, and looked into my eyes.</p><p>“You’re right,” he murmured. “Lovely.”</p><p>I smiled. Their shoulders were pressed against mine.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. by the light of the moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>winter 1921, Hyunjin POV</h5>
<p>If we were going to cohabitate with humans, it had to be someplace the sun rarely shone. It seemed like a logical choice while we were still simmering in South America, but now that we were walking the streets of Newcastle Upon Tyne — a sheet of tin foil over our heads — I regretted casting my vote for the city.</p><p>“I miss the <em>suuuuuuun,”</em> I moaned to whoever would listen.</p><p>“So do I,” Seungmin replied, cupping his own face. “I miss the tickle.”</p><p>“I’m just excited to start anew,” Chan said gaily.</p><p>“I’m gonna be pissed the fuck off if we have to deal with any more nomads this decade,” Jisung muttered.</p><p>The Royal Station Hotel was the biggest building I’d seen in a while. We carried our luggage — six duffle bags of clothes and a trunk of valuables — into the foyer and waited while Chan spoke to the concierge. He had learned English from an Australian woman, so whenever he spoke he had a cute accent that preened and prettified his inflection.</p><p>There were so many of us that we had to take two trips on the elevator. While Jeongin, Haseong and I waited, the concierge eyeballed us, as if he were seeing something bewildering. He adjusted his little hat and sniffed as we boarded the elevator, finally out of his hair.</p><p>Suite 408 was small with tall ceilings, a bed and a kitchen and other things we wouldn’t use. We put our luggage away and wandered around the room, checking for bed bugs and mould. I was standing in front of the mirror, fluffing my hair. I hadn’t seen myself since we’d left Paraguay three days ago.</p><p>“My hair’s getting so long. Should I wear it in a ponytail? No, that’d be crazy.” I tidied it up onto the back of my head. “Unless…?”</p><p>“If you wear your hair in a ponytail,” said Jeongin, “you’ll have to accept that we’re gonna pull it whenever the opportunity arises.”</p><p>“I’m going to the lounge,” Jisung said, apropos of nothing. “I haven’t played anything but that upright in Paraguay for years, and it was missing, like, twenty keys.”</p><p>“I’ve missed your music,” Chan said affectionately. “I think living here will be a good thing for us.”</p><p>“You’re just saying that because you can get back to work,” Haseong teased.</p><p>“Obviously — I thought we were all clued in on that.”</p><p>“Hey, guys.” Seungmin was heaving the bed away from the wall. “Look at this.”</p><p>We all crowded around. There was an intricate metal plate embedded in the wall. I crouched and squinted through the cracks. It was a silvery tunnel inside, snaking through the wall.</p><p>“That’s just a vent,” Haseong said, shooing us away. “Up up up.”</p><p>“What does it do?” I asked.</p><p>“It distributes air around the hotel. Hot air, cold air, etcetera.”</p><p>“Where does it go?”</p><p>“Everywhere.”</p><p>“So we could,” Seungmin coughed, “hypothetically crawl around inside it?”</p><p>“Hypothetically,” said Chan, “but of course that would be pointless and wildly irresponsible.”</p><p>I looked at Seungmin. He was already looking at me. We smiled and went about our business.</p><p>* * *</p><p>“Goodbye, dear family!” Chan waved his briefcase and practically sprinted through the door. Jeongin and I looked out the windows to watch him strutting down the street, his soaring mood challenging the sickly grey sky.</p><p>Haseong was sitting at the desk, carving a piece of paper with one half of a pair of scissors. He got up, stuffing a couple pencils into his back pocket, and headed toward the window.</p><p>“In case of emergency,” he said, “I’ll be mapping the surrounding area for the optimal route of escape. Hang tight.” He opened the window and tossed himself out.</p><p>“I’m going with him.” Jeongin gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “Don’t wait up.”</p><p>“I wish you could stay. I… Seungmin and I are gonna explore the vents.”</p><p>I was worried for a second that our plans would stir up Jeongin’s jealous streak. He had nothing to worry about — I was honestly over my feelings for Seungmin. At least, I’d gotten over them the last time they popped up out of nowhere. And the time before that. I was three months on the wagon.</p><p>Luckily he just laughed, rolled his eyes. He didn’t seem to have the same suspicions about us anymore. Lately, he’d been spending more time with Seungmin than I had.</p><p>“You’re gonna bring shame upon our family,” he deadpanned.</p><p>“Please don’t tell Haseong.”</p><p>“Worry about letting the humans catch you first.”</p><p>He kissed me again, and then climbed over the couch and left the way Haseong had. Seungmin — sitting on the bed next to Jisung — immediately hopped up and shoved the bed away from the wall. I ran over and unscrewed the vent cover with my thumbnail.</p><p>Jisung groaned, looking down at us from over the head of the bed. “You’re both idiots.”</p><p>“We’ve been in the city for a day and I’m already bored as fuck,” Seungmin said. “We’re taking matters into our own hands.”</p><p>“I will not take part in this,” Jisung sniffed.</p><p>“Good.” We said it in unison.</p><p>He harrumphed and got off the bed. “I’ll be in the lounge — not that you care.”</p><p>“We’ll fill you in on our travels,” Seungmin called, prying the cover off the wall. We stuck our heads in. The duct was just big enough to crawl through on our hands and knees. Left was a dead end, but right forked off in two endlessly intriguing directions.</p><p>I crept inside, and Seungmin followed. He reached out and pulled the bed back into position against the wall.</p><p>“Paraguay may have had piranha basketball, but it did not have <em>this,”</em> he said.</p><p>“You’re right. This way or that way?”</p><p>“That way.”</p><p>We turned left again and kept going. At times we heard voices echoing from the rooms, sometimes we peeked through the cracks to see shoes stomping around on the carpeted floors.</p><p>I thought we were coming to a dead end, but then I realized the next tunnel dropped straight down. I scooched around — bumped my head on the ceiling — so I could go feet-first. I took a controlled plummet down to the next level, an identical duct.</p><p>The next suite must have had a band staying in it — there were instruments rested against the walls, some in cases and some not. There was a little hazel-coloured ukulele sitting on the floor near the vent.</p><p>“Remember when we stopped off in Hawaii after we left Japan?” Seungmin asked.</p><p>“Yeah, I remember.”</p><p>“Chan was still being extra nice to me back then. You know, warding off newborn blues. He had a friend who knew how to play the ukulele — he taught us how to play too.”</p><p>“Really? You can play?”</p><p>“I’m kinda gifted, actually,” he smirked.</p><p>I pouted. “Now I’m curious.”</p><p>Our eyes crept toward each other.</p><p>We pushed the screws out, opened the cover, and snatched the ukulele.</p><p>“We’ll return it,” he said as we fled the crime scene. I cackled.</p><p>After another tumble down a vertical duct, we found ourselves over the foyer — straight above the receptionist’s desk. The concierge was slouched in his rotating chair, snoring.</p><p>“The looks this guy was giving me,” I tut-tutted.</p><p>“Wanna do something about it?”</p><p>Seungmin lowered me out of the vent, holding me by my ankles, until I was directly above the napping concierge. I slowly reached under his chin, pinched the strap and pulled the hat off his head. Seungmin lifted me back up.</p><p>We kept crawling through the tunnels with the concierge’s little hat on my head. Eventually the smell of human food wafted in; I held my nose. We had a bird’s eye view into the hotel kitchen. The chef was chopping cherry tomatoes and mushrooms on a cutting board. He shooed half of the pieces into a bed of egg, and left the board on the counter while he sprinkled the pan with salt.</p><p>“I suppose it’s breakfast time,” Seungmin said.</p><p>“For who?”</p><p>“The guests.”</p><p>“They get their food made <em>for</em> them?”</p><p>“And delivered to their rooms.”</p><p>I pulled a face. “Being a vampire is unfair. Sometimes I’d like to avoid going all berserker just for a snack.”</p><p>“Hyunjin, are you seeing this?”</p><p>“Seeing what?”</p><p>He pointed down at the cutting board. There were two rats nibbling on the sliced tomatoes. I gagged and slapped my palms over my mouth.</p><p>“Humans are gonna eat those now? I knew the plague was gonna have a comeback.”</p><p>Seungmin was unscrewing the vent cover.</p><p>“Uh, Seungmin, whatcha doing?”</p><p>“I’m gonna get rid of the tainted food.”</p><p>“But the chef’s right there!”</p><p>The cover fell but Seungmin swooped it out of the air. “I’ll be quick. Hold this.” He gave me the ukulele.</p><p>He dropped to the kitchen floor and booked it for the counter. The rats scurried away as he grabbed the cutting board, pivoted and ran back to the vent.</p><p>“C’mon c’mon c’mon,” I said.</p><p>“Catch!” He threw the board up and I scrambled to snatch it out of the air. “I’m gonna trap the rats too!”</p><p>“Icarus, Icarus!”</p><p>He waved me away and turned back to the kitchen, but the chef was turning as well.</p><p>Seungmin up and vanished at the last second. The chef noticed the cutting board’s absence and scratched his head. He marched out of the room, grumbling.</p><p>Seungmin climbed out of a rack of pots and pans.</p><p>“Seungmin,” I called, “the rats are going for the omelette!”</p><p>He leapt to his feet, grabbed the rats by the scruffs of their necks and plonked them into a pot, slamming the lid over it.</p><p>I reached down through the vent. “Hurry!”</p><p>He tossed the rat pot up to me. I put it with the chopping block and ukulele and reached down to him again. He grabbed my hands and I pulled him up just as the chef came back into the kitchen, another bowl of cherry tomatoes and mushrooms in his hands.</p><p>Seungmin yanked his feet into the vent, and I struggled to reattach the cover.</p><p>“Holy shit,” he laughed in a whisper.</p><p>“Every person here owes you their lives,” I said.</p><p>Though our arms were full of random takings, we kept exploring. The sound of piano echoed through the tinny ducts. Jisung was playing in the lounge, an open room with leather chairs and a bar. There was no one there to listen to him, which he probably liked, but I always thought he was too good not to be heard.</p><p>We unscrewed the vent cover and stuck our heads into the room. “Encore!” I shouted.</p><p>Jisung shrieked and covered his ears. “What the f— Jesus, Hyunjin? Seungmin?” He stormed toward us, brows pinched into a uni.</p><p>“Hey there,” said Seungmin.</p><p>“You really made it all the way to the first floor?”</p><p>“Proud of us?”</p><p>“Is that the concierge’s hat?”</p><p>“Oh yeah!” I said brightly. “We borrowed it.”</p><p>Jisung abruptly smiled. “You’re in such deep shit.”</p><p>“Perhaps. But hey, now we have rats.” I showed Jisung one of the pot rats. He screamed again and nearly fell over.</p><p>We resumed our journey to the frenzied music of Jisung taking our names in vain. We agreed we had plundered — <em>borrowed</em> — all we needed for today, so our next task was trying to haul ourselves up the vertical vents. The tomatoes didn’t fall and the rats didn’t escape, so I’d say it was a success.</p><p>We ended up back in the suite, dancing wildly while Seungmin wailed on the ukulele. He had the pot on his head — Samson and Delilah were, er, somewhere else — and I had the concierge’s hat stuck over one eye.</p><p>“This is for the lovers out there!” Seungmin cried, strumming the tiny instrument loudly and messily.</p><p>I just laughed and laughed until my cheeks hurt.</p><p>“What the hell are you doing?”</p><p>I spun around and Seungmin lifted the pot off his head. Jeongin was watching us from the window, smiling, and Haseong was next to him, not smiling.</p><p>“Us? Nothing.” Seungmin hid the ukulele behind his back. “What are <em>you</em> doing?”</p><p>“Cartography.” Haseong shook the map in his hand. “It went well, by the way. There’s a sequence of buildings that will provide a swift escape if need be.”</p><p>“And we saw a double-decker bus,” Jeongin said. “Not as tall as I expected.”</p><p>“Cool.” I tried to sneak the hat off my head.</p><p>Haseong sighed. “Look, whatever you did, just don’t let Chan find out.”</p><p>We thanked him in unison and gathered our wares, heading back into the vents. The human food went in a trash can outside, and Samson and Delilah ran into the distance, tails swinging behind them. The concierge hadn’t woken up yet, so he got his hat back — not that it had ever gone anywhere, as far as he knew. We dropped the cutting board into a sink full of water and bubbles in the kitchen.</p><p>We were about to return the ukulele to the band’s suite when I realized I hadn’t heard Seungmin play it. He had bashed out a rhythmless solo in the suite, but I hadn’t heard his lovely voice, hadn’t seen the way he disappeared when he sang.</p><p>“Can you play for me?” I asked. “Like, actually play?”</p><p>“Sure.” He hunkered into a sitting position, the ukulele in his lap. “Requests?”</p><p>“Anything.”</p><p>He thought for a moment, looking down at the strings and up at my face. He cracked his knuckles and placed his fingers on the ukulele’s neck. I closed my eyes to listen.</p><p>The song he chose was called ‘By the Light of the Silvery Moon.’ He slowed down the tempo till it lost its bounce and gained something naked and sweet. I couldn’t fully understand the lyrics — English — but I got the gist of it. Cuddling, kissing, love.</p><p>I peeked at him. Would it be weird if I thought he was beautiful? So beautiful that sometimes I looked at him for no reason? Especially now, eyes closed, swaying to the melody, fresh off a day of exploration. So fucking beautiful.</p><p>Definitely weird. Shut up, Hyunjin.</p><p>He sang the last verse and gave the ukulele a final little strum. I realized I was leaning toward him and backed up.</p><p>He smiled. “Well?”</p><p>“You’re amazing. I love you.” Wait, what did I just say?</p><p>He laughed. “Love you too, bud.”</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. red sun rising</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>fall 1922, Jeongin POV</h5>
<p>“You know… Chan and Haseong travelled by themselves for sixty years before they found me. I think that’s why they fit together so well. Sometimes I wonder what it’d feel like to be alone — actually alone, just the two of us.”</p><p>“Really?” Hyunjin was hugging me from behind, swaying us gently side to side. The sky above was getting darker and darker, stars coming out of hiding. “You’d leave the rest?”</p><p>“Not forever, just a… vacation. We’d go somewhere nice and rural and hang out for a year or so. I’m tired of listening to motorcars backfiring all day and night. I’m tired of sneaking off to the roof just to cuddle.” I was tired of seeing Seungmin’s lovely face everywhere I looked.</p><p>Hyunjin considered it, still rocking me like there was a song in his head. “I like the sound of that.”</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>“A vacation somewhere pretty and quiet? With you — my favourite person in the world? Sounds perfect. I love you so much. I don’t tell you that enough.”</p><p>“You tell me you love me at least five times a day.”</p><p>“I’ll try to up it to ten once we’re in the Malay Archipelago.”</p><p>“No archipelagos.”</p><p>“Why not! C’mon, I wanna play with tortoises.”</p><p>“You really wanna cross an ocean every time we visit the family?”</p><p>He grimaced and sighed. “You’re right, not so much. Where do you want to go?”</p><p>“Somewhere warm — and I want to stay in a house this time. We were roughing it before we found you and none of us showered for, like, months.”</p><p>“We’ll find a house then. Cottage or farmhouse?”</p><p>“Farmhouse, I guess, if it’s anything like Paraguay.”</p><p>Hyunjin sighed and hugged me tighter. “It’s gonna be hard, isn’t it? Not to have everybody around all the time?”</p><p>“It’ll be… strange.” I’d miss Haseong and Chan and their all-seeing eyes, protecting me even when I didn’t need it. I’d miss Jisung, inexplicably — he was so difficult most of the time, but he was my little brother.</p><p>And I’d miss Seungmin. It hurt a little bit, knowing how much I’d miss him, but he was the reason I wanted to leave. We were getting too close, I was getting too comfortable. Every time we found ourselves alone, talking well into the night, I was afraid I would make a mistake I couldn’t take back.</p><p>“Poor Jisung,” Hyunjin said, taking me out of my thoughts. “His hug intake is gonna decrease by at least forty percent.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about him, he has Chan.”</p><p>“And what about Haseong? Who is he gonna micromanage if I’m not here?”</p><p>I snorted. “Seungmin has that covered.”</p><p>“Yeah. Seungmin.” His arms squeezed tighter around me. “Alright, you want sun — what do you think of Cuba? Somewhere in Spain? California?”</p><p>“America? Ew. Let’s shoot for the equator — there should be some interesting animals there for you to see.”</p><p>“Jesus Christ, I love you so much.” He nuzzled his lips into the crook of my neck.</p><p>Suddenly Jisung climbed onto the roof, grasping at his own sleeves, and said “Chan found nomads in his office.”</p><p>Hyunjin and I both froze. “What?”</p><p>“They followed him here. Come down, we’re figuring out what to do.” He left without another word. Hyunjin and I clambered to our feet, scaled down the side of the building, ducked into the suite. Chan, Seungmin, Haseong and Jisung were huddled together — we joined the circle.</p><p>“There were two,” Chan said, trying to hide his tension. “I didn’t get a look at either of them — I heard them in my office and left as soon as I could. They followed me here but the concierge intercepted them in the foyer.”</p><p>“That dolt won’t be able to stop them if they’re looking for us,” Haseong said. “Thankfully our last encounter taught us a lot.” A small, vicious smile touched his face.</p><p>“What’s our play?” Seungmin asked, already on board.</p><p>“We lure them away from home base — separate, ambush and restrain them, demand answers. Hyunjin, with me, we’ll take the first nomad, lead them away from the hotel, and Jeongin will act as live bait on Scotswood Road. Chan, Seungmin, Jisung, do the same, lead the second nomad over Redheugh Bridge and south — we’ll meet on the A694.” He held his hand in the middle. “Protect yourselves. No mercy, yeah?”</p><p>We all put our hands over his, pumped them on three. Jisung, Seungmin and Chan headed toward the window, Haseong toward the front door. Hyunjin was squeezing my hand tight.</p><p>“I guess Indonesia will have to wait,” he murmured.</p><p>I pressed a kiss to his palm. “Please be safe.”</p><p>“Of course. See you soon.” He gave me a little smile, let go of my hand and crossed the room, disappeared after Haseong. I turned and headed out the window, dropped four storeys into the courtyard. The others were waiting for me; Chan and Jisung sped down the street, but Seungmin stayed still, a thousand words behind his lips.</p><p>“It’ll be okay, Min,” I said.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Hyunjin will be okay.”</p><p>He blew out a breath, reaching for my hand. I may have let him hold my hand a few times too many and now he acted like it was open season. I couldn’t deny I liked it.</p><p>The two of us shot through the tunnel, following the others, racing toward the unknown vampires. Suddenly a vacation was seeming very far away.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. crossed wires</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>winter 1922, Seungmin POV</h5>
<p>The situation with Lee Felix and Seo Changbin had us all on edge. The two had been with us for a whole month but they weren’t telling us the full truth, everyone knew it. I couldn’t help sympathizing with them; Felix was having a hard time, the same hard time I had gone through as a newborn.</p><p>Well. Not the <em>exact</em> same kind of hard time. I’d instantly fallen in love with a guy who already had a boyfriend — so I’d gotten over him, distanced myself… and then accidentally fallen for said boyfriend as well, even though he had mixed emotions about me — probably because I was in love with his boyfriend. In comparison, Felix’s situation was simple.</p><p>I may have opened up too much. I told him how to protect himself from Jisung’s mind-reading. It was information I would have wanted when I was trying to settle into the family. Besides, Haseong had ordered us to keep mum, and I was a little bit eager to do the opposite of what he told me. Hyunjin could sneeze and Haseong would tell him to shut up.</p><p>With coven-life getting more and more complicated, I was in the habit of visiting places I could only find in my memory. Happy places. It always started with the scenery. The very peak of a swaying tree, open air below my feet, and then Hyunjin sits across from me, hair fluttering in the wind. A field at sunset, and Jeongin lies next to me, beautiful under the glow of the sun. The porch of our Paraguay house at midnight, sitting between the two people I love most, their shoulders flanking mine.</p><p>Sometimes I wondered what it would be like if the three of us hung out again. It had happened before, like in Paraguay, but it never lasted as long as I wanted, not long enough to get over the initial jitters and awkwardness — and it was <em>always</em> awkward. The three of us gracelessly missing each other’s eyes, like we were afraid someone was going to make a declaration at any moment.</p><p>I didn’t realize an opportunity would present itself so soon. The eight of us were out for a hunt and — in Chan and Haseong’s quest to probe Felix — we ended up as a team. I looked at Hyunjin and Jeongin looked at me. Hyunjin was trading looks between the two of us.</p><p>Jisung and Changbin headed west, and Chan and Haseong went south, Felix following behind with his arms crossed over his chest.</p><p>“Well, great!” Hyunjin put his arms around both of our shoulders. I couldn’t tell if he was oblivious to the awkwardness or just ignoring it.</p><p>“At least we’re not going with the traitor, I guess,” Jeongin muttered sarcastically.</p><p>“Or Changbin,” I added.</p><p>“He’s cute, I don’t know why you hate him,” Hyunjin said.</p><p>“Haven’t you ever hated someone for no reason before?”</p><p>He blinked. “No.”</p><p>“Right, I dunno why I asked.”</p><p>“I don’t think we’ve ever had so much hostility in the coven.” Hyunjin counted on his fingers. “You and Changbin, Felix and Haseong and Chan, Felix and Jisung.” He didn’t mention himself and Haseong, or Haseong and I, for that matter.</p><p>“Jeongin, what was it like when it was just you, Haseong and Chan?” I asked.</p><p>“All we did was hunt and talk and reflect. It was… really nice, actually. I didn’t understand why older siblings resented younger siblings till Jisung.”</p><p>“That’s something he’d <em>love</em> to hear.”</p><p>“You know what, I think we need to bond more as a family,” Hyunjin said, thinking out loud. “The city is such a stifling place to live. We should go somewhere like Paraguay again, somewhere we can stretch our legs and talk.”</p><p>“I doubt we’ll be able to talk Chan into it,” I said. “He was elbow-deep in human guts all week and loving it.”</p><p>“I’d like to be elbow-deep in human guts right now.” I could see Jeongin’s fangs poking into his lips. “Felix and Changbin probably drank twenty humans just on their way to England.”</p><p>As if on cue, I heard a gentle clip-clop from ahead, saw ears and antlers bobbing behind a row of bushes. I crept around the trees on all fours — Hyunjin was doing the same opposite me, and Jeongin had disappeared into the branches.</p><p>I sprinted forward and tackled one of the deer. The herd scattered in all directions — Hyunjin grabbed one by the neck and tore his teeth into it. Jeongin swooped down and caught a buck with barely a sound.</p><p>Blood had a way of erasing problems and worries from the mind. The danger that Felix and Changbin posed, but also the threat of alienating them when they had come so far just for our acceptance. My love life, which was about as non-dramatic and easy to understand as a Picasso painting from his cubism phase. The blood washed everything away, but when I let go of the drained body, it all came rushing back.</p><p>When I looked up, Hyunjin and Jeongin were kneeling over their kills, praying with their eyes closed. Hyunjin slouched to the side, nestled into the crook of Jeongin’s neck, and Jeongin rested his cheek against the top of Hyunjin’s head. It was natural, unpracticed. I liked to see them happy together, so obviously in love. I wanted what they had.</p><p>I watched them, forgetting my problems again.</p><p>I looked away when Jeongin opened his eyes. We shuffled the carcasses into the bushes and headed back the way we came.</p><p>“About the bonding thing,” Hyunjin said out of the blue. “You realize we haven’t been to the movie theatre in, like, months, right? The moving pictures have moving <em>sounds</em> now too, did you know that?”</p><p>“So it’s just a play then?” Jeongin said.</p><p>Hyunjin opened his mouth and closed it. “Yeah, I guess — but that’s not the point. If we not going full-recluse, then I’m gonna put forward a motion to go out for movie nights. We can’t be expected to bond as a family if we have no memories all together… and I’m so bored!”</p><p>“I wouldn’t be surprised if we were on unofficial house-arrest,” I said.</p><p>“It’s for our safety,” Jeongin said. “I’d rather not be in a packed theatre when the nomads decide to turn on us.”</p><p>“Chan and Haseong could at least talk to us about it.”</p><p>“Try seeing them as two overworked dads whose family is growing faster than they can manage.”</p><p>“You’re such a papas’ boy.”</p><p>He reached around Hyunjin to pinch my arm really hard. I just smiled.</p><p>“If Felix really is plotting our downfall, he’s doing it in the most boring way possible,” Hyunjin pouted.</p><p>“I doubt he’s plotting anything,” I said. “Haseong should be working to improve his gift. Felix says he can’t control it. Maybe if he could, he could watch out for everyone.”</p><p>“Jisung thinks Felix is lying about his gift being weak.”</p><p>“Jisung is a conspiracy theorist. He has an irrational hatred for newborns too.”</p><p>“You two did a number on him,” Jeongin smirked.</p><p>“Felix isn’t even a newborn,” I said. “He’s only two years younger than me. And wasn’t Changbin turned, like, twenty years ago?”</p><p>“You know, I’m surprised Jisung hasn’t gotten more from their minds,” Hyunjin said. “Especially Felix. He must be a genius, to know how to keep Jisung out. Or maybe he just doesn’t think a lot.”</p><p>“Yeah, about that,” I cleared my throat. “I may have told him about the ‘fed up with Jisung eavesdropping’ club.”</p><p>“Good Lord, why would you do that?”</p><p>“Because I felt bad for him! He reminds me of myself when I was a newborn.”</p><p>“In what possible way is he like you?” Jeongin scoffed. “You fit in seamlessly from the first day.”</p><p><em>Seamlessly?</em> I wanted to laugh out loud. <em>Jeongin</em> was the one who had made me feel like an outsider for years, treated me like some kind of a home wrecker before he’d even gotten to know me.</p><p>“Yeah, except for <em>some</em> people who hated me for the pettiest damn reasons.”</p><p>I knew immediately I shouldn’t have said it. Jeongin looked down, Hyunjin held his elbow. I opened my mouth to apologize but nothing came out.</p><p>Later and farther into the forest, I heard rustling in the trees. The three of us froze and braced, but then Felix dropped to the ground, straightened out of a crouch. He looked tense, upset. I would have asked if he’d heard our conversation, but I didn’t want to pull a Chan when he obviously wouldn’t give a straight answer anyway.</p><p>Felix walked between me and the other two, gave us a bit of distance. I felt like thanking him for it.</p><p>* * *</p><p>When the eight of us got back to the hotel, Jeongin climbed out the window, headed for the roof. Hyunjin didn’t follow him.</p><p>I retreated into the bathroom and sat in the tub with my knees to my chest. I didn’t know why I thought I could just casually bring up our past like that. I shouldn’t have been angry that he felt threatened — he could sense my feelings for Hyunjin from a mile away. There were so many crossed wires between us that I could barely keep track of who was in love with whom and what not to say around whom.</p><p>I got out of the tub, paced the bathroom. Changbin and Felix were whispering to each other on the sofa. Mysterious nomads or not, I could see the love between them too. I felt like some kind of inadvertent monk, watching everyone else be happy in love. I suppose there was always Jisung.</p><p>I dropped my face into my hands.</p><p>“Felix, can we speak to you?” Chan’s voice broke the quiet of the suite. Felix got up from the couch, crossed the room, closed the door behind him. I looked out into the living room. Hyunjin was playing with Jisung’s sleeve, but Jisung was staring at me, picking apart the story from the woods. His eyebrows popped like <em>Yikes.</em></p><p>I sighed. I guess all I could do now was apologize, clear things up and disengage as fast as possible. I climbed over the sofa — giving Changbin a curl of my lip — and out the window. I scaled the side of the building and peeked over the roof. Jeongin was facing away from me, staring at nothing. The early morning sky was blanketed with grey-white clouds, like the moving pictures Hyunjin always wanted to watch.</p><p>I pulled myself up and got to my feet. Jeongin heard me, turned and turned away again, posture getting straighter. I stood beside him.</p><p>“I’m sorry for what I said.”</p><p>He shrugged. “If you’ve been… angry with me, you don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry I was jealous — petty, cold, whatever — in the beginning. Sorry.”</p><p>“I’m not angry… I’m a little angry. It didn’t feel good to be excluded.”</p><p>“Of course it didn’t — especially not by <em>me,</em> the only thing keeping you from Hyunjin.”</p><p>“Hyunjin isn’t a part of this. Jeongin, I’ve always thought you were so… interesting. So you. I just wished you would’ve given me a chance.”</p><p>We watched the flickering streetlights below, wordless. He touched my arm, briefly, stepping a bit closer.</p><p>“I’m really sorry, Min.”</p><p>“It’s… okay.” I smiled a bit. “Sometimes I wonder how a doomed crush made you so insecure.”</p><p>Luckily he laughed. “You and Hyunjin… you two have something that he and I don’t.”</p><p>“Well. I guess. But it’s never been romantic.”</p><p>He shook his head softly. “The way he looked at you… I could’ve sworn there was something there.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“I dunno. Maybe I just saw what I was afraid of seeing.” His jaw was clenched. “You sound happy to hear it.”</p><p>“Sorry, I just—”</p><p>“No, I understand. Getting over someone, constantly being around them… that place of pain never heals.” He almost sounded like he had experience. “Have you made any progress? Moving on?”</p><p>“Maybe.”</p><p>He looked at me. “Did something happen?”</p><p>I met his eyes. His striking, knowing eyes. Somewhere inside him — his heart or soul or whatever part of him was paying attention — he knew how I felt about him.</p><p>“I just can’t stop loving things, loving… people… I shouldn’t. I’ll never be able to have them.”</p><p>“What do you want?”</p><p>“I… shouldn’t.”</p><p>“No, Seungmin — who? Who do you want?”</p><p>I glanced down at his lips, only for a second. “I want…”</p><p>He grabbed my face and kissed me.</p><p>I should have realized this was wrong — I should have shoved him away, he should have shoved me away. But it just felt so good, so right. His fingers twisted into my hair, my arms closing around his waist. It was natural for us too.</p><p>Shoes scuffing on the tiles, a short intake of breath. Jeongin and I flinched apart. Felix’s eyes were wide, stuck on us.</p><p>“Felix.” It was out of my mouth on a breath. I couldn’t think of anything else to say, an explanation or an excuse. It was only dawning on me now. What the fuck did we just do?</p><p>Felix could barely meet my eyes. “I-I’ll go.” He took a step back and leapt off the roof without another word.</p><p>Jeongin had his face in his hands. He dropped into a crouch and shrank into his knees.</p><p>“I didn’t just do that,” he whispered.</p><p>“I’m… sorry,” I said.</p><p>He didn’t stand up. I was about to touch his shoulder, try to comfort him, but he abruptly straightened, headed toward the edge of the roof.</p><p>“Jeongin, wait,” I said without thinking. “Where are you going?”</p><p>“I dunno. Somewhere.” He turned to me. “Don’t tell anybody.”</p><p>“Of course not.”</p><p>His face softened as he looked into my eyes. He shook his head. “Seungmin.”</p><p>He leapt over the edge and barely hit the ground; I saw only a blur of him running northward.</p><p>I headed back to the suite, disoriented. Felix had made quite an exit, nobody was paying attention to me. Even so, I felt like they all knew. I was breathing, meditating on the sound so Jisung couldn’t read my mind. But the way Haseong’s eyes were narrowed, the way Chan hovered around me, sensing my agitation… I swore they knew.</p><p>Hyunjin caught my eye and smiled, a little gesture to let me know we were okay.</p><p>I smiled back. I’d never felt so guilty in my life.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. aftershock</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>winter 1922, Hyunjin POV</h5>
<p>Jeongin had kissed Seungmin. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, even after days had gone by. Hurt, envy, embarrassment. Most of all, I felt betrayed. Because Jeongin had kissed him, but also because Seungmin had kissed back.</p><p>I knew it was foolish. Jeongin and I had a promise, but Seungmin and I… it felt like we had another kind of promise. Something solid and unspoken.</p><p>I must have been wrong all along. Maybe I’d confused unspoken with imaginary.</p><p>Seungmin had clearly taken a liking to me the first day we met, and even after I’d set boundaries, his eagerness to play hadn’t gone away. I suppose it was selfish. I liked that he liked me but I never talked to him about it, I never told him to move on.</p><p>I suppose at some point, he had moved on anyway. I needed to do the same.</p><p>Jeongin had hurt me, but I wasn’t ready to give up. We’d been together for 13 years, I was meant to spend my life with him. I couldn’t let us fall apart. Besides, he insisted the kiss meant nothing. I was all too ready to accept it.</p><p>So we decided we were okay. Persistently, aggressively okay. We spent most of our time cuddling, holding hands at the very least. And I did feel okay. When Jeongin told me he loved me, I believed him. Of <em>course</em> we were okay.</p><p>Seungmin and I… not so much. We seldom spoke after Jeongin told me what had happened between them. I think he was avoiding me. At first I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but after two weeks or so of tension, I started to get mad. <em>He</em> was the one who hurt <em>me, he</em> was the one who broke our imaginary promise — why was he giving me the cold shoulder?</p><p>* * *</p><p>Lee Felix — the newest member of our coven — had just finished screaming at Chan and Haseong, belligerent, nonsensical, eyes a vicious red. Now the three of them were talking things out in private. Jeongin, Changbin and Jisung were trying to eavesdrop, and Seungmin was in the bathroom, avoiding the drama.</p><p>There might have been a better time to bring it up, but I was impatient to give him a piece of my mind. I wasn’t even going to let Jeongin know. I didn’t owe him any more explanations just to allay his jealous streak. And with what happened on the roof, that had <em>obviously</em> cleared itself up anyway. I hated that roof.</p><p>I sidled into the bathroom and — nicely but firmly — told Seungmin to come with me. He stammered, said okay, climbed out of the tub and followed me into the main room. I shoved the bed out of the way and unscrewed the vent cover. I felt momentarily nostalgic. The time we spent exploring the hotel, carefree… I cherished every moment of it.</p><p>We shimmied through the vents. It was early in the morning, the city hadn’t woken up yet, and neither had Chef Davies; I figured the kitchen would be the most privacy we could find within the hotel.</p><p>I dropped onto the tiled floor and he dropped after me.</p><p>“Look,” I said, “I dunno how you feel about <em>what happened</em> and where, you know, you and I are now, but it hurts that you’ve been ignoring me. You’re my best friend and I’ve thought about how I feel and I don’t want our thing to change, but how am I supposed to get past this when you’re all awkward and not-like-yourself about it? Just — just talk to me, okay? Can you do that?”</p><p>He was just looking up at me, teeth clenched together. His eyes grew glassy and spilled over with tears. He dropped his face into his hands, shrinking away from me.</p><p>I was frozen. Seungmin never cried. “Seungmin?”</p><p>“I’m s-so sorry,” he stuttered. “I regret it, I regret everything, I can’t tell you how much I hate myself for letting it happen. I fucked everything up — I’m so fucking sorry, Hyunjin, you have to believe me.”</p><p>I couldn’t pay attention to what he was saying. Seeing him cry hurt in so many unexplainable ways. I pulled him into a hug, told him not to cry. Please don’t cry.</p><p>“I never wanted this,” he murmured into my shoulder. “I swear, I never meant to hurt you. I feel so guilty all the fucking time.”</p><p>“Don’t feel guilty. Jeongin said you… you didn’t initiate it. This isn’t on you, it’s between me and him.”</p><p>For some reason, that just made him cry harder. He slouched into me, locked his arms around my waist; I swayed him side to side. I couldn’t remember why I was angry. I couldn’t remember what had happened on that damn roof or what came after it.</p><p>All I knew was that I forgave him. I loved him. This time, I didn’t know whether I’d be able to bury my feelings like I had before.</p><p>I guess it didn’t matter anyway. He’d moved on.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. breaking point</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>spring 1923, Jeongin POV</h5>
<p>At this point, I was convinced that God hated me.</p><p>First, these “talking pictures” were nothing like plays. I’d seen more frightening images in an hour than I had in the last sixty years — and I was a blasted <em>vampire.</em> The whole theatre was overwrought and screaming, including my brothers and I — perhaps us especially.</p><p>On top of that, somehow I had ended up in the seat between Hyunjin and Seungmin. Between the love of my life and a guy I couldn’t stop wanting no matter how hard I tried. I’d attempted to avoid this situation, but Jisung wanted a spot close to the exit, Chan had plopped down next to Hyunjin, and Seungmin had already taken a seat. I was trapped.</p><p>And their hands, idle, unclaimed, were resting to either side of me. I wanted so badly to hold both. I had two hands of my own, didn’t I? Stupid, infuriating, evil. I’d done enough to hurt everyone I cared about, but I was just as greedy as ever.</p><p>The woman in the talkie screeched and the audience wailed with her. Hyunjin was panting, Haseong had his arms around both Jisung and Felix, Changbin was practically on Chan’s lap. Seungmin just giggled. How did he do it? I was trembling like a leaf.</p><p>But just a glance at him and somehow I felt calmer.</p><p>For the love of Christ, Yang Jeongin, focus on the talkie. Onscreen, the protagonist was climbing into a stagecoach, but the vampire who had “fallen in love with her” was watching from afar. Yes, vampires watching a vampire flick, we knew it was ironic.</p><p>A crack of thunder, a blast of light — it blindsided me. I flinched to the side, squeezing my eyes shut.</p><p>And then I realized I had flinched into Seungmin’s shoulder. For a second, his arm moved around me, then pulled back just as fast. I straightened out, stared forward. I knew Hyunjin’s eyes were on me but I didn’t dare look back.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Back in Forks Prairie after the credits had rolled, I managed to slip out of the house unnoticed. I wanted to be alone. It wasn’t easy to live with my mistakes, the one mistake that seemed to encompass everything. I just kept fucking up over and over again. There was no excuse for it.</p><p>I ended up sitting atop a hill at the edge of the forest. The view didn’t make it any farther than my eyes. The longer I was alone, the less I wanted to be alone. I wanted to hug Hyunjin, settle into his arms, tell him I was sorry. I could never describe how sorry I was.</p><p>I heard footsteps from behind me. For a second, I hoped it was Hyunjin, but then I recognized the sound, the confident heel-toe I had come to know. Seungmin sat next to me, his lovely brown hair stirring in the breeze.</p><p>“Whatcha doing?”</p><p>I shrugged. “Sitting around.”</p><p>“Thinking about the talkie?”</p><p>I’d forgotten it entirely. “Yeah.”</p><p>We were silent for a moment, and then he said, “We weren’t sure where you went. I mean, I wasn’t.”</p><p>My heart climbed up my throat. I whispered, “You always wonder where I am.”</p><p>He sighed, stretching his legs out on the mossy rock. The drop off the ridge wasn’t steep, it rolled into a valley of trees and came back up in a mountain facing us. I hadn’t noticed it was beautiful. I used it as an excuse not to look at him a little longer.</p><p>“I didn’t want you to beat yourself up too bad,” he said.</p><p>“Why would I do that?”</p><p>“Jeongin, don’t act like I don’t know you. Don’t act like you haven’t let me know you.”</p><p>I just shook my head.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>“It was nothing.”</p><p>“No, it wasn’t nothing. I didn’t mean to, like, reciprocate back there. It was instinctive.”</p><p>“Instinctive,” I sneered. “Okay, whatever — why are you here?”</p><p>“Because I worry about you.”</p><p>“You don’t have to.”</p><p>“I do anyway.”</p><p>“Jesus, Seungmin, why can’t you just— just—”</p><p>“Not love you?”</p><p>I hated that I suddenly felt — <em>good.</em> Happy in my chest, like something about this was right. Him next to me, telling me he loved me. I drew my knees to my chest.</p><p>“Yeah. That.”</p><p>“You really wanna know why?”</p><p>“Uh.”</p><p>“Has anyone ever told you that your ears go back when you’re embarrassed or awkward? Scared, even?”</p><p>I blinked, at a loss.</p><p>He continued, his expression gentle but teasing. “It’s cute. Like a fox or something. Your eyes are the same, your face is a damn stone, but your ears give it away.” He laughed a bit, hoping he hadn’t pissed me off somehow.</p><p>“You… you pay attention to me.”</p><p>“I always have.”</p><p>I looked over my shoulder, met his golden eyes. He looked back at me only with love, total understanding. I felt starved of him. I wanted to look at him and know he was mine.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>The corners of his mouth twitched up but he pulled them back down, acted cool. He folded his knees to his chest, mirroring me.</p><p>“I’ve wanted to hear that for years.” But his smile waned. “It’s… not enough, though. That you love me. You won’t leave him.”</p><p>“No. I love Hyunjin too.”</p><p>“I know you do. I’m sorry, I don’t want you two to break up. You’re perfect together. I want what you have.”</p><p>I looked away. Hyunjin and I <em>weren’t</em> perfect together, not like Haseong and Chan or Felix and Changbin. Every day we were farther apart. I was afraid the love between us wasn’t enough to stop it.</p><p>“Talk to me,” Seungmin murmured.</p><p>“Look, Seungmin, I’m… attracted to you, but Hyunjin is my partner. I can’t give up on him, I can’t hurt him again.”</p><p>“Aren’t you hurting him as long as you’re not being honest with him?”</p><p>“The truth will hurt him more.”</p><p>“But he doesn’t deserve a lie. He deserves happiness, and if you’re what makes him happy then you have to be there for him, you have to get your shit together.”</p><p>Seungmin’s voice was sharp. He cared for Hyunjin, cared for him the way I should. I crumpled in on myself and tried not to cry.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” I whispered.</p><p>He sighed. Then he was taking my hand, gently, like I might shatter. “Sorry.”</p><p>I looked up. It felt like the wind was pushing me toward him. I closed the gap between us, put my head on his shoulder. I was biting the insides of my cheeks, still blinking the tears away.</p><p>“With Hyunjin, it was fast,” Seungmin murmured then. “Falling for him. I looked at him and felt like I was looking at my entire life. It was slower with you. So slow that I didn’t realize what’d happened at first. If loving Hyunjin is torture, loving you is torture doubled and tripled.”</p><p>“The loving wasn’t torture. That neither of us loved you back was torture.”</p><p>“You remember.” He snorted softly. “Yeah, but turns out, one of you did love me.”</p><p>“Do you ever think about it? When we kissed?”</p><p>“Sometimes. All the time. It was so perfect, but after… I’ve never felt more guilty in my life.”</p><p>“What did you do about it? How’d you feel better?”</p><p>“I…” He cleared his throat. “I cried. With Hyunjin. I blubbered like a baby and he forgave me. Of course he did.”</p><p>Hyunjin hadn’t told me about that. “Oh.”</p><p>Seungmin gently brushed the hair out of my face. “So… what now?”</p><p>I turned my head to look up at him and he met my eyes. I smiled. Not because I was happy but because I was loved. At least there was that.</p><p>“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. But something… something has to change.”</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. unravelling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>spring 1923, Hyunjin POV</h5>
<p>“Hyunjin, we need to break up.”</p><p>I had known it was coming. I’d known for a while, but I’d ignored it. I didn’t want to believe that we were the ticking time bomb everyone said we were. I thought Jeongin was the person I’d always have, the one I could trust.</p><p>I guess I’d been wrong. He broke my trust when he kissed Seungmin.</p><p>Though, somehow, I couldn’t blame him. He’d fallen for the same kindness and wit and bravery that I had. He’d made a mistake. Admittedly, I was a little jealous that he got to make that mistake instead of me.</p><p>“Talk to me,” Jeongin said, cupping my face in his hands. I looked at him, trying to bite back the tears. It used to be so simple, easy — the two of us, a team. More than anything, I wanted to feel okay again. I wanted to feel whole, not like I was missing half my heart every fucking day.</p><p>“You’re in love with Seungmin,” I murmured.</p><p>Jeongin’s lips came open. “I… yeah. I am.”</p><p>“Are you gonna be with him?”</p><p>“No, of course not. I’m not breaking up with you for him. I just… I want us to have a clean slate. I think we need to separate if we’re gonna find the right way to be together.”</p><p>“But everything will go back to the way it was, r-right?”</p><p>“Are you sure you want that?”</p><p>I swallowed. And shook my head. I couldn’t lie about this, however much I wanted to. Something had changed between us, something was wrong, something was missing. Whether it had started with him or me, neither of us had been brave enough to face up to it. Until now.</p><p>I couldn’t meet his eyes. I couldn’t stop my voice from trembling and breaking.</p><p>“Do y-you still love me?”</p><p>He answered without pause, wiping the tears from my face. “Hyunjin, you’re everything to me. I’ll always love you. Okay?”</p><p>I lurched forward and hugged him, buried my face in his shoulder.</p><p>“Please don’t go away,” I whispered.</p><p>“Never. Promise.”</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. dance with the boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>summer 1923, Seungmin POV</h5>
<p>Hidden in the forests of Forks Prairie, there was a meadow speckled with blue, pink and white flowers, bordered by a wall of ancient trees. It was a lovely place to hold a wedding, especially one so long overdue.</p><p>Chan and Haseong had their hands entwined. Ephraim Black — a new friend and ally — stood behind them, officiating.</p><p>Hyunjin was sobbing. Changbin was trying his hardest to control himself, but his eyes were rosy red. I <em>might</em> have cried too. But I wouldn’t admit it.</p><p>After the ceremony, the crowd dispersed across the meadow, <em>The Sunshine of Your Smile</em> playing softly in the background. Felix, Jisung and I sat down at the edge of the trees, a patch shaded from the sunlight.</p><p>“Don’t tell Hyunjin,” said Felix, “but these monkey suits are a li’l bit unbearable.” He pulled the collar out with one finger, pretending to choke.</p><p>“I knew it wasn’t gonna work out when I sewed them up,” said Jisung. “Swear to god, no tuxes at my wedding.”</p><p>“Like you’ll ever get married,” I laughed. “You’re just mean. Hyunjin worked hard on all this, it’s his first time.”</p><p>“I’m just saying,” Felix said, “a piece of fabric nearly strangled my boyfriend to death today.”</p><p>“I think that has less to do with the wardrobe and more to do with your boyfriend.”</p><p>“I’d smack you up for that but Changbin’s said worse shit about you.”</p><p>“Hyunjin was being all crazy about the capes,” Jisung said. “He was thinking about them during the ceremony. He’s gonna be a mess for the next few weeks.”</p><p>“Lucky he has Jeongin,” I murmured. “You know, in whatever way.”</p><p>Jisung and Felix were looking at me but I didn’t meet their eyes. I was watching the others mingle. Jeongin and Changbin were talking to Ephraim and his partner Halona, and Haseong was entertaining their three children with pirate tales.</p><p>Chan was intent on dancing at his wedding, so eventually everyone gathered in the middle of the meadow, and the phonograph was cranked to full volume. The three of us joined in. Chan grabbed Hyunjin, Haseong and Jisung spun in a waltz, and Felix twirled Jeongin into a dance number. I got stuck with Changbin. We stepped on each other’s feet until the song ended.</p><p>I was about to head back into the shade, but Felix spun over, whisked me away and whispered in my ear.</p><p>“Hyunjin is gonna dance with, well, one of you. He hasn’t decided yet.”</p><p>I looked over Felix’s shoulder. Hyunjin was hovering in the middle of the dance floor, peeking at Jeongin. He turned to me but I’d already looked away.</p><p>“What should I do?” I asked.</p><p>“What do you want to do?”</p><p>I looked up at Hyunjin again. “I dunno if I should do what I want. You know, with him and Jeongin… and me and Jeongin…”</p><p>“Seungmin, I try to stay outta your whole <em>thing,</em> but there’s nothing stopping you anymore. Neither of them are attached. Take it from me — if you got shit to say to somebody, say it before you… can’t anymore. If you wanna dance with the boy, dance with the boy.”</p><p>I bit my lip. All I wanted to do was dance with him. I spun Felix under my arm and turned to Hyunjin.</p><p>He was looking back at me. He smiled and lifted his arms a bit.</p><p>I crossed the field, hesitantly put my arms around him. Gradually we relaxed into each other, swaying to the melody.</p><p>“I fucked up the wedding,” he murmured.</p><p>I shook my head against his shoulder. “You didn’t fuck anything up. Everything looks beautiful. I, well, I cried. So you know it was good.”</p><p>He sniffled. “I was in over my head. I just wanted a distraction. Also I like parties.”</p><p>“You threw an amazing one. Trust me.”</p><p>He was playing with my hair, gently smoothing it down. I’d seen him do it to Jeongin before. It felt really nice.</p><p>“Seungmin, do you believe in soulmates?” he asked quietly. “The ‘one true love’ thing?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Sometimes people just make good teams.”</p><p>“Do you think a person can only have one in their lifetime?”</p><p>“It… it’s natural for things to change.”</p><p>He nodded a bit, left it there.</p><p>“Are you feeling okay?” I asked.</p><p>He knew what I was asking. “I just… I want everything to go back to the way it was. But I don’t too. Am I terrible?”</p><p>“No, of course not. You deserve to be happy.”</p><p>He didn’t reply. He just held me tighter, didn’t let go, even after we were the only ones left dancing.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. angels</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<h5>winter 1923, Hyunjin POV</h5>
<h5></h5>
<p>Almost a year ago, when we had made a pitstop in New York City, Jisung had found a store filled to bursting with musical instruments. The look in his eye when he saw that maple upright studio piano was the closest thing to good and pure adoration I’d ever seen. He bought it with his savings and carried it on his back all the way to Forks Prairie, Washington State.</p><p>Now it stood next to the staircase in the living room. Jisung, Chan and Changbin shared it — they were a budding musical trio. Sometimes they would play and the music would call the rest of us to gather.</p><p>Today they were working on a new composition. Seungmin was sitting on the stairs, head against the baluster. I was slouched over the sofa, and Jeongin was sitting next to me, quietly rubbing my back.</p><p>“Relax your hand, Changbin.” Chan kneaded Changbin’s fingers and put them back on the keys.</p><p>“Who’s handling the pedals?” Jisung asked.</p><p>“I thought you were doing that.” Changbin played a snippet of a song. “Is this relaxed enough?”</p><p>“That might be a bit too relaxed, bud.”</p><p>Changbin sighed and shook his hands out. They all started playing again, arms getting tangled up as their fingers wandered the keys.</p><p>“It’s beautiful, guys,” Seungmin said.</p><p>“It’s not finished,” Jisung pouted. “We’ll get back to you when it isn’t garbage.”</p><p>“Perfectionist,” Jeongin muttered.</p><p>“That’s a positive personality trait.”</p><p>There was a strange sound from upstairs, shimmying and soot sprinkling. An ash-covered Felix flitted down the hall, stood at the top of the stairs. I expected him to admit that going through the chimney was a bad idea — or maybe preach what an amazing idea it had been all along — but he didn’t say anything. His face was tight and anxious, and when Haseong came up next to him, his expression was the same.</p><p>Jisung’s breath caught, looking up at them. Reading their minds. He only glanced in my direction for a second, and then turned back to the keys.</p><p>“Lix, what’s happening?” Seungmin said, confused.</p><p>Haseong and Felix exchanged looks. Felix walked down the stairs, hesitantly, at a human pace, and sat on the sofa next to me. I straightened out, asked what was wrong.</p><p>“Haseong and I were practicing my foresight. I was in a psychically sensitive place, and…” He forced a smile. “You remember when you told me all about your family? Your sisters and your… grandmother?”</p><p>All I could do was nod.</p><p>“Your grandmother… she’s going to pass away tonight. I’m so sorry, Hyunjin.”</p><p>The shock hollowed me out. Jeongin wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tight. I couldn’t feel him. Just numbness, faceless and removed, miles away and years in the past.</p><p>“When… when is she…?” It was a whisper, hoarse.</p><p>“Three twenty-three in the morning, seven hours from now.”</p><p>Jeongin was still hugging me, face buried in my shoulder. He murmured a “sweetheart,” and I realized he was crying.</p><p>“Hyunjin,” Chan said, palming my ankle. I hadn’t noticed him move to the coffee table next to me. “If you would like to talk to her, you can. We’ll come with you.”</p><p>I said okay. My eyes were still dry.</p><p>* * *</p><p>With the money Jeongin and I had stolen, my family bought a pretty house in a residential area, surrounded by gardens, caressed by forest on almost every side. As we approached, I heard only four heartbeats inside. One was so weak I could barely make it out.</p><p>“I’ll come with you,” Haseong said. “You’ll need a lookout so you can focus.”</p><p>Jeongin squeezed my hand. “I’ll be waiting for you.”</p><p>I squeezed his hand back. Everybody gave me hugs and pats on the back, and then Haseong and I stepped over the fence, into the garden. Every inch of ground was smothered with snow. I followed the weak heart’s call around the house, to a window. It was already open.</p><p>“Hyunjin.” The voice, unlike the heart, was strong, passionate. “You made it.”</p><p>Gramma was sitting in a rocking chair, watching the window. Her trembling arms were reaching out to me already.</p><p>“Gramma, it’s freezing, why is the window open?” I climbed inside and held her hands between mine. She looked older than I remembered, so much more frail, and her blood was weak and slow.</p><p>“I knew you would come when I needed you. I’m going to go tonight.”</p><p>I nodded. She didn’t seem afraid to die, just excited to see me.</p><p>Her eyes slipped past me. “Is that your angel?”</p><p>“Gramma, this is Haseong,” I said. “He’s a friend.”</p><p>Haseong closed the window and bowed to her. “It’s cold out, ajumeoni. Would you like Hyunjin to help you to bed?”</p><p>Gramma shrugged. “It is rather chilly.” She tried to get out of the rocking chair but stalled halfway to her feet. I gently lifted her up and set her down in bed.</p><p>“Do you need more blankets?” I asked, kneeling by her side.</p><p>“Ah who cares? Another blanket isn’t going to change anything. I want to hear about <em>you,</em> bunny rabbit, it’s been so long.”</p><p>“Nothing… important is going on with me. I’m here to talk about you.”</p><p>“But you’re happy?”</p><p>I smiled for her. “Always. Now you. How do you know you’re going to…?”</p><p>“I can feel it.” She tapped her fingertips against her heart. “Here. I just know.”</p><p>“Have you… said goodbye? To everyone?”</p><p>“Not in so many words. I didn’t want to sadden them before I was gone. Hyunjung came over for lunch, and then Eunji and I made snow angels all afternoon.” She smiled a proud smile. “I tell her stories about you. How you visited when we needed you most, a gift from God. She knows you as the angel you are, her lovely big brother.”</p><p>I smiled, a real one. “Really?”</p><p>“Of course. I tell her you’re up in heaven with Grandpa and your angel friends, and you’re waiting for each and every one of us. I tell her, someday we’ll be a family again.”</p><p>The smile left. I cast my eyes down. “Gramma, if… if I’m not in heaven when you get there, you’ll have to forgive me. I want to be there for you, but I think… I’m in a different heaven.”</p><p>“Honey, heaven is heaven. My heaven is with my family. Whether you’re there or not, you’ll be there.” She reached up tentatively to cup my cheek in her hand. “Don’t worry, please don’t worry.”</p><p>“I can’t help it. I think about you every day. I’m afraid of tomorrow, when you’re gone and I think of you and I…” My voice leapt up my throat. The tears were inside me, boiling over. “I’m afraid of what I’ll feel. I’m afraid I’ll be so sad that I’ll go numb and never feel anything ever again.”</p><p>She laughed like we were talking about something simple, something finite. “I doubt the world will ever meet a Hwang Hyunjin who doesn’t feel.”</p><p>“I feel too much. It’s easier not to feel at all.”</p><p>“But if you never feel sadness, you’ll never know once you’re happy again either.”</p><p>“What if I’m never happy again?”</p><p>“I wondered the same thing when you left us. But then I realized, I didn’t want to look back and be sad that I’d been sad all that time. Years pass so quickly. I asked myself, ‘what do I want to be doing in ten years? Who do I want to be in ten years?’ I just wanted to be happy. Trust me, happiness always comes back, and it’s always worth the wait.”</p><p>I mulled it over, pinching at my own fingers. What did I want to be doing, what did I want to feel, in ten years time? Or a hundred? Who did I want to be holding when today was a distant memory?</p><p>“Gramma,” I said, “you know I’m a homosexual, right?”</p><p>She giggled a bit. “Everybody knows that.”</p><p>I laughed too.</p><p>“You and your angel,” she mused. “I was so glad when I saw you’d found someone to love. Wherever you go, you draw love.” She pinched my chin. “Like flowers draw butterflies. Oh oh! Did you see my rosebushes outside?”</p><p>“You have rosebushes?”</p><p>“Yes. Hyunjung was surprised too. I suppose you kids never saw me garden since we lived in that damned apartment. I’ve been pouring my prayer into those flowers, and they’ve endured the winter. I want you to pick a rose for the one you love.”</p><p>“But… what if I love two people?”</p><p>“Then take two.”</p><p>Tears welled in my eyes again. I ducked my head against her chest. She stroked my hair.</p><p>“I’m getting tired, Hyunjin,” she murmured. “Why don’t you go back to your angels?”</p><p>“No, I don’t wanna leave you.”</p><p>“I’m just going to sleep.”</p><p>“You won’t wake up.”</p><p>She smiled so wide, her gums showed. “I’m going to give Grandpa the biggest, sloppiest kiss.”</p><p>I smiled through the tears. “Ew, don’t t-tell me that.”</p><p>“Boy, look at me.” I looked up into her eyes. “I never forgot you, Hyunjin. I wanted to tell you that. You’ve always been my little bunny rabbit, and you always will be.”</p><p>“I love you so much.”</p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p>I clasped her hands between mine. She closed her eyes, fell into a peaceful sleep. She was smiling the whole time.</p><p>Tears were dripping from my chin. I didn’t know what to do. I could have said so much more. I could have asked about her childhood or mine, the years I’d been gone, but now she was asleep, on her way to heaven without me.</p><p>“Hyunjin,” Haseong said. I looked up at him, standing by the doorway. He put his arms up, inviting me over. I got up and ran into his hug, shrinking into him. I think it was the first time we’d hugged.</p><p>“Breathe,” Haseong murmured. “You can breathe, Hyunjin. I… I’m sorry I’ve been cruel to you.”</p><p>I could barely get the words out. “Please d-don’t hate me an-anymore, p-please, I don’t w-want you to hate me.”</p><p>“I don’t hate you, I just… didn’t understand you.”</p><p>“I wanna go.” I didn’t want to see her face again, I wanted to remember her awake, wrinkly eyes bright and open.</p><p>He herded me toward the window, an arm around my waist. We climbed out the window and made our way through the garden.</p><p>“Wait, stop.” I kneeled, brushed my hands over the bushes. Roses were hidden under the snow, ice clinging to the deep red petals. I shucked the spikes off a stem, plucked it free, and did the same with a second. We continued into the forest, leaving the house behind.</p><p>When my brothers heard us, they came running. Chan reached me first, wrapped his arms around me, and then the rest piled on. The woods were quiet except for our choked breath and the snow settling in our hair.</p><p>“Thank you,” I murmured. They let me go hesitantly. “I need a minute alone, please. Except Jeongin and Seungmin.”</p><p>Jeongin’s lips came open. Seungmin looked around as if he’d heard his name wrong. The rest left us without a word — Haseong gave me one last pat on the shoulder.</p><p>I held the roses out in my hands. “My gramma told me to give a rose to the one I love. But I took two. One for each of you.”</p><p>Jeongin picked one up carefully and held it to his nose. Seungmin was staring at me, his eyes delicate like gossamer.</p><p>“You love me?”</p><p>“Of course I do. Do you…?”</p><p>He stepped toward me, held my hands between his, looking into my eyes. “I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.”</p><p>I laughed a little, a trembling breath. His hand came up to cradle my face, but we stalled, glancing at Jeongin. He just smiled, twirling his rose between his fingers.</p><p>“Go ahead.”</p><p>I turned back to Seungmin and kissed him. His arms wound around my neck. I’d been waiting to kiss him for a decade. I could feel his lips on mine even after we pulled away.</p><p>“But” — I shook my head, dizzy — “what about you and Jeongin…?”</p><p>“I love him,” Seungmin said, “but I love you too. I want both of you.”</p><p>“Does that mean… can that mean something? Can we try it? Together? As three?”</p><p>Seungmin glanced over at Jeongin, reached out to him. Jeongin took his hand, linked their fingers together and stood close, leaning his head against my shoulder.</p><p>“I wanna try it,” Jeongin murmured.</p><p>“So do I.” Seungmin smiled at his feet. “How new-age. Never even considered it.”</p><p>“What about, you know, monogamy?” I asked. “Do we do that? Is it even possible?”</p><p>“I, for one, don’t want to share either of you,” Jeongin said.</p><p>“Of course you don’t,” Seungmin and I said together.</p><p>Jeongin blushed. “I’m sorry I get so jealous. I’m a shitty boyfriend and a shitty friend.”</p><p>“You’re an immaculate boyfriend,” I said. “You don’t have a lot of willpower, but neither do I, so… I forgive you.”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure I got the worst of it,” Seungmin said.</p><p>Jeongin hugged him, held him close. “Please forgive me. I didn’t know how to love you.”</p><p>“You’re bribing me with cuteness.”</p><p>“Is it working?”</p><p>Seungmin hugged him back. It was so gentle, so natural — it made me love the way they loved each other. I felt anything but jealousy. This was exactly where I wanted to be in ten years, one hundred years. No amount of time would be enough.</p><p>I sniffled. For a second I’d forgotten that my heart was aching. Jeongin reached up and wiped the tears from my face. I fell into his arms. Seungmin hugged me from behind, holding me close between them.</p><p>“Heaven,” I whispered.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h5>summer 2016, Seungmin POV</h5><p>A century ago today, I fell in love with Hwang Hyunjin in a field scattered with blooming flowers. A century ago today, I looked into Yang Jeongin’s striking eyes for the first time. It was the day I’d died, but in a way, it was more like the day I was born.</p><p>It made sense I was thinking about it — here, now. Today was my one hundred year deathday (corny, sure, but the family insisted it was a brilliant play on words) and we were back in Japan, at the beach that Hyunjin and I had meant to see after I’d hunted for the first time. Finally we’d made it. It was more beautiful than I remembered, ocean bright blue and sand soft beneath our feet.</p><p>Jeongin laid down a beach blanket, curled up with a sun reflector fanned in front of his face. Hyunjin and I were out in the water already, splashing each other and shrieking.</p><p>“Imagine if we’d done this a century ago,” he said.</p><p>“Imagine if I’d done this.” I yanked him close by his collar, kissed him.</p><p>He wrapped his arms around me, smiling against my lips. “You would’ve died. Again, I mean.”</p><p>“I can attest to that,” Jeongin called from the shore.</p><p>We hopped back to the beach. I batted the reflector out of his hands and cuddled up to him, head on his shoulder.</p><p>“Whatcha doing over here?”</p><p>“Watching you two.”</p><p>“Whatcha thinking about?”</p><p>A small smile softened his face. “I wish I could have been there when you woke up. I wish I could have been there to see you guys fall in love.”</p><p>“You’re making it sound more romantic than it was. All I remember is a lot of pathetic flirting and Hyunjin rejecting my ass so hard—”</p><p>“I did not!”</p><p>“I was practically declaring myself with a bouquet of flowers and you just said ‘sorry, I have a boyfriend.’ My heart <em>shattered</em> into tiny pieces.”</p><p>“You’d known him for a day,” Jeongin said.</p><p>“I might be exaggerating.”</p><p>“What happened after he so brutally rejected you?”</p><p>“We headed back to the damned cabin. Then I met you.” I stretched up to kiss him. “Suffice it to say, big day for me.”</p><p>“I mean, you did turn into a vampire.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, that too.”</p><p>“Something else about that day,” Hyunjin said, curling up on his other side. “We never made it to the beach. Maybe it means something that we’re finally here — with you.”</p><p>Jeongin just smiled, running his fingers through Hyunjin’s hair.</p><p>“No, I’m pretty sure we didn’t make it because Hyunjin broke my heart,” I said.</p><p>Hyunjin groaned, climbed over Jeongin and smothered me with kisses. “Forgive me, love bug, I was a fool!”</p><p>“Ahhh, you’re all sandy!”</p><p>“Surrender to it!”</p><p>“But I don’t like sand, it’s coarse and—”</p><p>“Quote Star Wars and I’ll break up with everyone present,” Jeongin said.</p><p>“Even me?” Felix appeared out of nowhere, cat eye sunglasses pushed up his nose. “That’d put a major damper on the Bro-cation.”</p><p>The other five skittered onto the beach as well. Haseong and Chan settled down in each other’s arms, and Minho grabbed Changbin in a sneak attack, hauled him out into the ocean. Jisung was sneezing and labouring over the pollen from the flowers.</p><p>“Happy deathday, Seungminnie!” Chan blew a noisemaker, unravelling a ‘congratulations’ banner over his head. “We thought we’d join you boys for the rest of the day.”</p><p>“We’re sorry,” said Jisung, still recovering.</p><p>“Yay!” Hyunjin squealed. “Felix, did you bring the stuff?”</p><p>Felix conjured a plastic bucket and two shovels from behind his back. “I refuse to build a sandcastle — the monarchy can kiss my juicy ass.”</p><p>“Sand legislative building?”</p><p>“Right on.”</p><p>Hyunjin clapped his hands and ran over.</p><p>“Now that I’m one hundred,” I mused, “can I call younger vampires ‘son’ and ‘boyo’ and stuff like that?”</p><p>“It’d be objectively weird if you called me son.” Minho strode back onto the beach, followed by a soaked Changbin. “Jisungie, I’m not gonna sit with you if you sneeze on me again.”</p><p>Jisung fake-laughed and reached up to him. Minho fell into his lap, arms around his neck.</p><p>“Babe, c’m’over here,” Felix said. “We’ll build walls to keep you safe from Minho.”</p><p>Changbin sat down in the middle of their sand legislative building.</p><p>“Haseong,” Jeongin said, “I forget what we did for your hundredth.”</p><p>“That’s because we didn’t do anything. I asked for a few days of peace and you kindly delivered.”</p><p>“But wasn’t that when Jisung got run over by a car and had to pretend to be dead?” Changbin asked.</p><p>“That was the driver’s fault,” Jisung muttered.</p><p>“I kept the incident under wraps,” Chan said, impishly proud. “I didn’t want to spoil your day, sweetheart.”</p><p>Haseong kissed Chan’s knuckles.</p><p>“Chan, what did you do for your hundredth?” Minho asked.</p><p>“Oh nothing special. I visited my family’s graves and practiced forgiveness.”</p><p>Minho blinked. “Ah, cool.”</p><p>“My hundredth is gonna be a whole ‘nother level,” said Felix. “I’ll buy a plane, paint the windows black, take it in a random direction — then once it’s running on empty, I’ll chuck myself outta that fucker and see where I land.”</p><p>“Felix, don’t do that,” Jeongin said, “you’re gonna break the earth.”</p><p>“That’s the point! The impact will be so epic that I’ll create another Grand Canyon. The Grand Felix Canyon. The Grand Felix. The Felix Canyon. The Grand-lix Canyon. The Fe-Grand Can-lix.”</p><p>“Every time he talks, I feel more and more estranged from God,” Jisung whispered. Minho rubbed his back.</p><p>“That sounds like the opposite of my hundredth,” Changbin muttered. Hyunjin and Felix had built a window into the wall of their fortress that showed only his face. “All I got was a half-assed ‘you did it’ and a succulent from Seungmin.”</p><p>“You loved that succulent,” said Chan, “you tended to it every day.”</p><p>“Out of pity.”</p><p>“Love you too, Bin,” I said.</p><p>“Minho, what about your deathday?” Hyunjin asked. “Got any plans?”</p><p>“You mean ninety years from now? Whatever we do, it’s gonna be close to home.” He slumped into Jisung. “I feel like I’ve left a piece of my soul behind.”</p><p>“He misses the cat,” Jisung explained.</p><p>“What if Charlie forgot to feed her? What if he accidentally locked her out of the house? What if he didn’t brush her teeth? Wherever we go on my hundredth, we’re bringing Kokoa, I don’t care if we have to fly coach.”</p><p>“But the cat won’t even be alive in 2105,” Changbin said.</p><p>Minho gasped and Jisung tried to cover his ears.</p><p>“What! It’s true!”</p><p>“I’m just gonna close this up.” Felix patted sand into Changbin’s face-gap.</p><p>“Moving on,” said Haseong. “Seungmin, back in the day, did you have any clue where you were gonna end up?”</p><p>I looked up at Hyunjin, hair flat and speckled with sand, and then at Jeongin, eyes lovely and contented. I smiled.</p><p>“Wouldn’t’ve dreamed it. Jeongin?”</p><p>“Not in a million years.”</p><p>“Cookie, what about you?”</p><p>Hyunjin put down his tiny shovel and mulled it over, looking us up and down. “This is everything I wanted. It’s my ‘hundred years later,’ you know? My… heaven. You’re my heaven.” He clapped his hands and rubbed his palms together. “Now’s about the time I give each of you a hug, right?”</p><p>“You don’t have to distribute hugs every time we get remotely sentimental,” Jisung said.</p><p>“No, I’m pretty sure it’s mandatory. And because you’re resistant to it, you’re up first. Minho?”</p><p>Minho moved aside so Hyunjin could tackle Jisung with a hug. He moved on to Minho — who twirled him like a kid — and next to Chan and Haseong. Felix ran into his arms, towing Changbin along with him.</p><p>Hyunjin came to me and Jeongin last, snuggled in between us. I bowed my head into the crook of his neck, murmured that I loved them, quietly so only the three of us could hear.</p><p>We hung out on the beach for the rest of the afternoon, just us and the shining sun.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading !!</p><p>if you want to read more...</p><p>daybreak - minho/jisung backstory (minho pov)<br/>nightfall - minho/jisung backstory (jisung pov)<br/>red sun - felix/changbin backstory<br/>treasure - chan/haseong backstory <br/>infinity - finale</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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